"I love you" one day..."move on" the next

[headshots]

This is my first post. I'm looking for advice as to how to handle this situation. I'm so confused, annoyed, but still love her.

Quick history...Me and my ex were together for almost 2 years. Things were awesome, we talked about getting married, our kids, where to retire etc. It was for real I thought. Fights, but nothing that couldn't be resolved. I got out of the military, fell into a depression, and wasn't there for her all the time emotional. I wasn't healthy. She left me, moved out. I started seeing a shrink, it helped. I had my priorities straight. We were apart for a month, got back together, it was like a new love. Was great. Then a month back into it she said she couldn't be in any relationship with anyone. Said she needed time to get herself mentally healthy, she wanted time, but said she still wanted me and didn't see herself with anyone else. I agreed. Being apart physically, turned into her partying all the time, eventually having a new boyfriend a few weeks after she left me, she said she hated me, never loved me, and told me to move on. This was in February. So I started to move on...

A week after she trashed me, she called me up saying she wanted to see me, missed me, wanted everything back, said she broke up with my replacement. The next day I try to call her, she ignores me like I'm nothing, and said she doesn't love me etc. Playing games, lying, misleading, I lost all trust I have in her. This happened 5 times, same thing, same deal. I changed my number and moved 5 hours away, moving was the only way I could get over her and move on. I regrettable contacted her about mailing some of my belongings to me. I went 3 weeks without talking to her. I think I've moved on , and am doing good. That's when it started again...now every 2 weeks she's calling me wanting me back. She's been calling the past few days, talking all night which I did miss, I got a lot of my chest with her, says she acts the way she does cause she's confused, got all my built up feelings out, was like my bestfriend was back. she's reliving the past, calling me love and saying I love you, and I'd do anything to get back with you. Wants me to drive to visit. I said sure, we can catchup, since we've been out of eachothers lives since Feb. See where it goes etc. Last night I try to return her missed call she ignores me, lies abunch, plays me, says move on, but I'm sorry, pls leave me alone. I'm not that hurt or anything, mostly annoyed and disappointed. I never initiate contact. I know this girl like a book and she'll call again.

My logical side says, I do not want to know her, severe all contact with her, change my # again, I tried to be friends this last contact but she when she acts the way she does it's impossible! I'm weak her still. That was long...I guess I just want to know why she is doing this for the past few months, playing with my deepest emotions, ruining me, then acting like she doesn't care the very next day. Flip flopping her actions bipolar-like. Why can't she move on and let go of me? I don't know what to do anymore with her, so confusing and just adds drama to my life. Thanks in advance.

[Teddy057]

I think you should trust your logical side. The shitty part is, sometimes our heart can easily overpower our brain, leading you to do very dumb things. The bottom line is that you want someone who is going to stay consistent throughout a relationship and not put you on some emotional roller coaster ride. Because, if they truly loved you, why would they ever hurt you in the first place?

[soulsurvivor23]

Yes agreed with the above poster, trust your logical side. It's not good to be in that kind of push and pull, it really messes with your emotions and you don't need that.

[Heartache]

I think you deserve a better girl. Move on and good luck...

[URL="http://bit.ly/makingup3"]Free Video on relationship advice.[/URL]

[Cinnabella]

So, out of no where or there are some hiden reasons?

[Petit Papillon]

OMG this girl is a devil, come on do you think that a girl that doesn't give a flying shit about your mental health is worth being with her? You were depressed and all she could do is to leave you first and then confusing you more. If you didn't get help in time, she would freaking make you commit a suicide. Such type of women are the worst. She's immature psycho , go back to no contact. Change your number and let her live in her crazy world on her own. You deserve much better.Good luck.

[Aniphilia]

Whoa. I have experience with something similar. 6 years of it in fact but not so minute to minute wish wash as your girl. I too never make contact after he breaks up with me. He has always contacted me. I am now more objective in how I view all this having gained some valuable insight from a friend. There are deep issues. your depression is light compared to her deeply rooted problems. My now ex does this intense beautiful love then massive apathy torward us kind of cylce. Its bizzare. He even just asked me to marry a few months ago and now he broke us up again! So confusing. Not that we should care (but I do), you may see something in how she was parented. I am just now realizing my ex is being bought and controlled by his parents ( mostly mother). They just started showing him acceptance at his age of 35!!

He makes me feel like the most important woman in all the universe when hes 'on' and says so too. But his apathy is just as intense. I looked into Bi Polar and its lesser attributes and some is fitting. There is mental instability that runs in his family but damn, hes such a great father to his children and is very intelligent. He does have issues with time and standing on his own two feet though.

If this sounds familiar, your not alone.... I feel ya. Also his break ups are so fast and streamline and cannot be argued with. Its futile.