She Doesn't Feel That "Spark" Anymore...

[Crushed]

Well, first I wanted to introduce myself to you guys. I don't normally talk about this kind of stuff on forums but I need some outside advice besides me friends for once. I want to apologize beforehand by saying that this is somewhat of a long post, but please take the time to read it as I'm thoroughly confused and crushed over here...

Anyways, I've been dating this girl for about 9 months now and we came to the conclusion that we loved eachother on our one month anniversary. Everything was great up until a couple weeks ago; we have never fought or argued, and we give eachother plenty of space to hang out with other friends.

Lately she's been making excuses not to see me and whatnot, and being the paranoid boyfriend I am, I've gone to places that she said she was at. One time I found that she wasn't at her house when she said she was, although I haven't confronted her about it. I have asked her why she's been so distant lately and she said she just needed some time to be alone, so of course I gave it to her.

Finally I got her to come over to my place to hang out alone with me, so we cuddled and did all the things we've been doing, and I actually felt close to her again after her distance from me.

But in the middle of the night, she suddenly got up and said she had to leave. She was a wreck; she was starting to cry and she ran out of my place as fast as I could, so I mustered up the courage to follow her to her friend's house, where she wouldn't talk to me. Her friends said to talk to her the next day.

So I did exactly that.

She wouldn't talk to me face to face, but she did agree to talk over the phone. She told me she suddenly didn't feel a spark between us anymore and it freaked her out, so that's why she left. She told me she needs a few days, so I agreed (although it was very hard) and it's now the next day. Her friends have also been covering up for her and saying that she wasn't at certain places (I can understand why, they ARE her friends), but why does she suddenly seem to hate me? I thought maybe she was cheating on me, but I've determined through a number of occurences and events that that's simply not the case.

What happened to our relationship, is what I've been asking myself. It's been perfect up until a couple weeks ago, and I haven't done anything to bring this on. Is this just a phase that some women go through and realize that they want to be with you still, or is she just crazy and simply doesn't need me anymore?

The relationship hasn't really been around for that long, I've had longer ones, but this girl I feel is really special and I want to hold onto her, at least for another year or so. ;-;

Any suggestions?

~ Crushed

[Only-virgins]

She spends the entire night at your house as if she lives there?....bah.. anyways....I am going to bet that this relationship is just on its down hill...its over man...sorry..from your last words though I doubt you loved her at any point...but then again what do I know right?

[Crushed]

No, she comes over to my house every weekend for at least one night for our "ritual" so to speak but she got really upset this time without warning and just plain took off.

Why does it seem like I never loved her at all? Believe me, I do or I wouldn't have gone so far as to posting on some forums. ;_;

I just need some advice. She tells me she still loves me but doesn't feel a "spark" anymore. If I really want this to continue, what do I do to show her that we can work through this?

I also missed a small part about how everyone tells me she's afraid of commitment and it was just a mess in the making, like she just needs to grow up first. That could be true, but how do I show this girl that this relationship can last?

[Noemi23]

Give her a little space... SHe might realize that she still has feeling for you...
You know what they say "They only way to realize you care for something is to belive it might be lost"
And I'm sorry to hear that!

[Only-virgins]

Well...your on your own buddy. I dont know what this "spark" is so... were you from? A "ritual"..I think you mena like a routine right?

[Crushed]

Hm... yes, a routine is more like it. But I like the "space" thing... everyone says I should go with a little or no contact and see how that goes... thanks everyone. =P