Asking me about missing him too often?

[elfen31]

Ok, my bf has this nagging habit....I don't know if it's just me or what, but EVERY and I do mean EVERY time we meet, he asks if I miss him, and it's not that I don't, but we see each other almost every weekend, so shouldn't my actions speak volumes. It's EXTREMELY annoying because idk, it just seems like he's EXTREMELY insecure or something and in constant need of reassurance. I might seem like a cold fish to some of you, but I can't help it...it's bloody annoying for him to ask me EVERY time we're together, whether I missed him or not.

[carl1222]

Yeah, it does show a little insecurity.

But successful relationships are all about compromise and accommodating your partner's individual personality especially in unimportant matters.

If you are willing to allow yourself to become so annoyed by such an insignificant and harmless quirky habit, it makes me wonder if you are the right girl for him.

Carl.

[elfen31]

Yea....maybe you're right.....but let me just remind you that a lot of marriages go down the tubes for the small things not the big things, and it's quite well known that needy men turn women off.

[Tug]

Yea....maybe you're right.....but let me just remind you that a lot of marriages go down the tubes for the small things not the big things, and it's quite well known that needy men turn women off.

Your boyfriend has insecurity issues and by the tone of your text you dont even care about the guy. If you respond to him in the same tone you use on this forum I'm not surprised he's insecure about his relationship with you.

If you feel his needy now how much longer do you expect this relationship to last? Do yourself a favor, end it and move on. Sooner or later it's bound to happen

[carl1222]

Yea....maybe you're right.....but let me just remind you that a lot of marriages go down the tubes for the small things not the big things, and it's quite well known that needy men turn women off.

But you aren't talking about "a lot of marriages" or "needy men [who] turn women off ... you are talking about your relationship and you!!

If your relationship can't stand a few annoying quirks, and you are turned off by a man who needs emotional reassurance once in a while, then you are with the wrong man. If you have a preference for the silent, independent type, go find one. There are lots of "bad boys" out there for you who will be happy to take you for granted, why deprive the other girls of a nice guy?

Carl.

For the record, very few GOOD marriages go down the tubes for the small things.

[IndiReloaded]

The only thing I would add is that people will post stuff on the internet that ppl before used to just think about. But never actually mention to their partner. The 'small stuff' that was mentioned. Sites like this can sometimes just be a way of thinking 'out loud', in writing.

I'm not sure if that's a pro or con for this kind of site. It probably depends on the person and how susceptible they are to blowing a small thing out of proportion.

I think you should make it a joke:

him - "Did you miss me?"
you - "Did you miss me?"
him - yes
you - not really; but its only been 86400 seconds since the last time you asked me that.

[Gigabitch]

If you actually DID miss him this wouldn't be so irritating, would it?

[elfen31]

If you actually DID miss him this wouldn't be so irritating, would it?

Yea...maybe you're right lol.

[Tunstall]

Personally, I have to admit that I was the same way in my early years of dating - I would never ask a woman that I am dating now for obvious reasons. But, if are into this guy, but find this annoying, just ask him why he feels so insecure in the relationship to keep asking me that question. Guys just don't get it at times that this kind of behavior is a turn off. His question is an insecurity that I believe is human nature. There maybe some underlying insecurity on his part that promps him to ask this question. At any rate, educate your friend that this is a turn off, and find some common ground in which to avoid such insecurities on his part.

[carl1222]

Personally, I have to admit that I was the same way in my early years of dating - I would never ask a woman that I am dating now for obvious reasons. But, if are into this guy, but find this annoying, just ask him why he feels so insecure in the relationship to keep asking me that question. Guys just don't get it at times that this kind of behavior is a turn off. His question is an insecurity that I believe is human nature. There maybe some underlying insecurity on his part that promps him to ask this question. At any rate, educate your friend that this is a turn off, and find some common ground in which to avoid such insecurities on his part.

But keep in mind that it's a part of his personality. So you may change the way he ACTS but you won't change the way he FEELS. If you feel the need to change his personality (or even his behavior) to be happy with him, maybe he's the wrong guy for you.

Carl.

[someguy1984]

Your boyfriend has insecurity issues and by the tone of your text you dont even care about the guy. If you respond to him in the same tone you use on this forum I'm not surprised he's insecure about his relationship with you.

If you feel his needy now how much longer do you expect this relationship to last? Do yourself a favor, end it and move on. Sooner or later it's bound to happen

Very well put.

I might add that you should tell him it's annoying and see if he stops. If it doesn't, move on...

[elfen31]

Very well put.

I might add that you should tell him it's annoying and see if he stops. If it doesn't, move on...

I'm trying with him....we'll see what happens.

[Tunstall]

What I was trying to say in my earlier post is that you learn the underlying cause of his insecurities. There is a reason for his asking if you he misses you. Seems like you both need to evaluate the situation to avoid this a quirky matter. Insecurities in a relationship can lead to such distress and unhappiness that the relationship will end when it shouldn't. Resolve now. As Carl said earlier, this may be just a part of his personality. If so, either live with it or move on. I can say though, he will likely out grow it like I did.