Complicated Situation

[Reesie]

Good day all.

My story/question has a lot of different parts; but I will try to be brief. I am a mother of two kids and still live with their father. I met this guy in January and I have been seeing him until recently. My kids father is suposed to be moving out in September, and my friend said he was willing to wait for me.

I knew our situation wasn't ideal for a relationship, but I had hope for the future, and he expressed and appeared to want more too. But about three weeks ago now, he told me that he thought we should go our seperate ways, that he didnt have time for a girlfriend, and wanted to focus on his life. I was devasted, but I attributed his decision to the situation and him not wanting to wait around any longer. I of course still had hope, and decided that I would respect his wishes and not bother him.

Two weeks went by with no contact (except I saw him once and only said HI), and then he BB'd me and asked me to call him. Overwhelmed with excitement, I called him. To my dismay, he called me to ask me about a girl that he was persuing. This girl is actually my cousin, and one of my closest friends. He called me because he had mentioned my name to her and she told him that we are cousins. He was trying to get me to lie to her and say that he wasnt the guy I had been cool with.

Of course, this stung so bad and I called her as soon as we hung up. She said she had already figured out he was the guy I was seeing, and was going to call me about it. She then called him to tell him that we had spoken. He is very upset with me for telling her this, although I do not feel that I was wrong. He began to make our situation seem like it was simply casual, like none of the feelings either of us ever expressed existed. I apologised to him the next day because I felt like I had maybe taken the situation out of context. Nonetheless, he claims that nothing about me changed, that he just lost interest. A few days later I asked my cousin if her and the guy were still communicating. I asked her to erase him from her BB contacts, and he immediately called her to find out why she had deleted him.

He then BB'd me expressing his anger, to which I told him that he should have been honest with me from the beginning. Then he deleted me.

I still have feelings for him, and hope that things can work out in the future. I understand that our situation wasnt healthy to be having a relationship. I do not plan on contacting him until my situation is ideal. I want to know if it would be weird for things to work out between us beingst that he had briefly been talking with my cousin/friend. The situation could have been totally different if he had not contacted me telling me about my cousin. I still believe he has feelings for me, but that he got tired of waiting around for me to truly be available. Can this situation be rectified, and how?

[hurt_confuzd]

While your situation may seem particularly complex, I can assure you that it isn't complicated at all. From a neutral perspective, the solution lies in front of me, in plain sight:

You need to fuçk his cousin.

[Reesie]

CRAZY thing is. The day I saw him, I was walking with his cousin. They are not as closely related as my cousin, nor are there good friends. Of course, I had no idea they would be related, and I had talked to the cousin about how I still had feelings for my friend. So when I saw him, the way I reacted made the cousin act like we werent even walking together. So now we are cool, but I dont know how I feel about the situation.

[hurt_confuzd]

So, let me get this straight... You did or did not follow my advice?

[Reesie]

No - I have not had sex with the cousin. lol

[hurt_confuzd]

Are you really from Bahrain? If you are, or from any other Arab country, I suggest killing and eating your ex under the pretense of abiding to honor laws.

[Reesie]

No Im not. My country wasnt on the list

[Cain]

Why would you even think to try something with him again later when he has said that he has no more interest in you? Or that he lied to you about his reasons and tried the "don't have time for a gf" excuse?

Move on.

[iHEARTu]

..........Lady. I have no idea what to say to you. You can't seriously believe he still has feelings for you, can you? You just ruined a potential relationship for him- thus that would make him very pissed off at the very least. If he's anything like the guys i know I'm surprised he hasn't already egged your house and tried to make your life hell on earth. :/ Follow Cain's advice: Move. On. With. Your. Life. If he "didn't have time for a girlfriend" and was pursuing your cousin he wasn't interested in you and was in her, but didn't know how to tell you so told you that he's not interested in relationships so that you'd get off his back.

Stop trying to get into a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Find some time for your children instead. Move on with your life.

and good luck.