Need advice from someone thinking clearly!

[Bigboy77]

It's been 3 months since the breakup.. almsot NC the whole time.

I havent done anything embarassing.. begging, etc...

Why do i feel like telling her how much i miss her and love her and how much she meant to me might be a good idea?

Why do i also feel like a "**** you how could u do this" kind of letter is a good idea too..

I'm sick of this. I havent acted on it because of previuos experience with another ex... but it feels right to tell her how much i love her and miss her sometimes... then other times it feels right to tell her off.



I think the best decision might be to just remove her off facebook... but then id feel horrible that something could have happened if i hadnt done something impulsive like that.


I've been pretty strong. And have moved on quite a bit since the break up.. but i still think about her everyday. Doing my best to keep my "no weakness" mentality, but sometimes i just slip. I don't got anyone to talk to, and have no friends so it gets pretty lonely. Just focused on my career.. good people are hard to come by it seems.

Swseet just writing this out made me see how stupid either way would be.

Still debating this facebook thing... i think im strong enough to keep her on it.. and would feel a little childish removing her.. but i dunno im undecided.

[ForMadmenOnly]

Actually you are thinking quite clearly and have already answered your own questions.

I wish I was thinking as clearly as you in similar situations.

As for the facebook, as you said it would be childish to remove her and it would show that you are still thinking of her. My advice would be to take care of yourself, do things that you enjoy, go out and find another girl. And when you do so and find somebody else that you are in-love with then you can very well remove her from facebook. But I bet by then you will not give a sh*t about her and facebook.

Again I wish I was thinking and behaving as cool as you when I am in situation like those.

Best of luck mate!

[steviej]

You've come this far, don't falter now!

Concentrate on you, why aren't you meeting new people? Get a circle of friends going, join a club, anything to occupy and enrich your own social development.
If her being on facebook hurts or causes you to think about her more then remove her! You can always try being friends with her much later on when it isn't an issue (but by then you'll be thinking, why bother?!)
If she messages asking why you removed her just say seeing her pics/updates etc brings back to many memories and you're finding it hard. No need to say any more than that.

[pisces25]

If it's any consolation I am in a similar situation although my break-up was more recent (only one week ago). I instigated it but I still feel torn, like I really miss and love him on the one hand but on the other I feel mad that we couldn't work things out and things ended like they did.

Maybe write the letter but don't send it? I find writing things out helps. Also it is very important to get out there and make some friends. There is the opportunity to see good in anyone, so whilst it may seem good people are hard to find the challenge is actually with you to find the good in people.

By aligning yourself just with the person you are in a relationship is dangerous because as you have seen when they leave the world is a pretty lonely place. So use this opportunity to cultivate some friendships, learn new things, expand your horizons and have a bit of a self-journey. Who knows what is around the corner for you.

If you feel removing her from FB will assist your recovery then go ahead and do it. Look after yourself in the here and now and the future will sort itself out.

[IncognitoSir]

No shame in removing her from facebook.....actually, a lot of people do. Especially seeing how she treated you in the end, I'm not sure why you haven't removed her already.

[DarkHelmet82]

i just deactivated my account.. easier..

[that one guy]

Facebook is the root of all evil when it comes to relationships. I would deactivate my account if I didn't use it to keep tabs on a large number of my friends. My ex deleted me after I was hanging out with some of her friends and before that, she would literally stalk me; text me everytime she saw something she didn't agree with. Eventually, she tried to re-friend me and I declined it. I would be too tempted to look at her page and probably see something that would hurt me. Even if I did hide her posts, her name would pop up randomly behind stuff. So, I used it as a healing step and now I won't be bombarded by texts from her getting upset at me for what I'm doing and who I'm friending. Bunch of bullsh*t if you ask me. I say delete her if it'll help you heal faster. Temptation can be killer in these kinds of situations. Stay strong, my friend.