on the subject of grinding

[hiddenmutant]

My long time girlfriend (8 years) and I were out last night with a group of her friends and work mates. The night consisted of a brief dinner, a work function (hers) followed up with a little party time afterwards. The party time ended up taking place at a dance club / bar down in old town. She's been indicating her want to dance with the girls for several weeks now. Most of her friends are single and they tend to hit the town quite a bit in search of good times and potential boyfriends. Her really good friend was reintroduced to the club scene several weeks ago and has really been enjoying it. After getting through a short line, working our way to the bar for beverages the girls headed straight to the dance floor. The other couple that was with us sort of moved off to the side to look for a place to sit. I watched the girls for a few minutes and decided to circle the bar to check it out. Upon my return which was only a few minutes later, I get to see my girlfriend on the dance floor grinding with some random stranger behind her, it was rather apparent she was enjoying it. Somewhere about that time she realizes that one of the women she's with is watching me for a reaction. Soon both of her friends are looking at me to see what I am going to do. My girlfriend definitely hesitated and then clearly made a decision to come over to me. At this point I am angry. I informed her that since she liked it so much and obviously needed to entertain her friends by grinding away with random strangers for both her own and their entertainment that she needed to get away from me. At this point I was so disgusted I left completely. The discussion that has since taken place started with denial. She has informed me that it wasn't at all what I thought nor did it happen and I am clearly confused. As the discussion turned into a heated argument her side of the argument went from denial to outright blaming me and that the whole thing was my fault. If our relationship was better she wouldn't feel compelled to grind with strangers. Now every relationship has its ups and downs. But this seems a little extreme to me and I think its a complete cop out from taking responsibility for one's actions.
She feels that she has done nothing wrong, there will be no apology and that I need to get over it. Naturally I am still angry over it. Would like to get some feedback form folks to get an idea if I am way angrier than I should. I am feeling rather justified but would like to hear from a few others.

[The_bobb]

Do you dance? If you do, why weren't you dancing with her? And if not, Can you REALLY blame her for dancing with another guy?

I'm not siding with her on this, i can COMPLETELY understand why you'd be mad. But at the same time, i don't care if my girlfriend flirts/dances with another guy. Just so long as she knows where i am when she wants to leave.

I don't dance, so if my girlfriend wanted to dance (yes grinding is in a sense, Dancing), i'd let her. Why should she give up something she likes to do, because you don't do it?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Alright the-bobb... I guess when you dont wanna **** her she can go **** someone else too right?

Come on. I dated people in the past who didnt want to dance. Shit, one ex didnt even go out period to dance. That didnt make it right for me to go grind my ass on some stranger. I dont even do that shit when Im single so imagine in a relationship. It's bad enough she did it, but it's worse that she did it while her boyfriend is right there. It's like I dont respect your feelings so I'll do what I please. If I'm out with someone and they dont feel like dancing, I go up against the wall and dance or stay on the dance floor and dance. There is no necessity for dancing with someone if you're just trying to have a good time.

AND, if she really wanted to dance with her boyfriend she could have just pushed his ass against the wall and grinded him instead of doing what she did. He doesnt have to do anything except stand back and enjoy it.

[Mish]

If our relationship was better she wouldn't feel compelled to grind with strangers. Now every relationship has its ups and downs. But this seems a little extreme to me and I think its a complete cop out from taking responsibility for one's actions.
She feels that she has done nothing wrong, there will be no apology and that I need to get over it. Naturally I am still angry over it. Would like to get some feedback form folks to get an idea if I am way angrier than I should. I am feeling rather justified but would like to hear from a few others.

I suppose if she cheated on you she would say that if your relationship was better she wouldn't feel compelled to cheat as well.

She's a hypocrite. Dump her before it gets any worse.


P.S. This may not be the right section to post in, which is why you are not getting much feedback. Try the "Love Advice" section next time.

[ecojeanne]

mmmm it sounds like an overreaction tbh, she knew she was wrong, people who don't care don't hesitate so in fairness she knows she was wrong, thats good. however she needs to admit this, if she doesn't tell her it's over. she can't and shouldn't get away with this, it's minor if she admits she did wrong. coz she probably got carried away with the flattery of it. anyway thats what i reckon