Is this normal?

[lolly25]

Ok me and my boyfriend have been together just under 3 months. He is 26 and im 25.

He does not live at home any more, he is quite a shy guy and also a mums lad. His mum calls him everyday to check up on him and also asks him to go home quite a lot. He does do this and I would never expect him not to see his family because that would be selfish and totally out of order. I normally get to see him once or twice a week and some weekends. When we are together things are great. He shows me and tells me how much he cares about me and likes me a lot and I can sense that this is geunie. I have been cheated on in the past so this still affects me a bit but I do trust him. He moved away from home for work purposes. He works long hours some times and I belive in space but I also feel that I dont get to see him enough.

I guess I see it different as I live at home and it gets on my nerves being smotherd by mum. Some times I feel like I dont see him enough. Am I just worrying over nothing?

Is this normal for someone who does not live with their parents anymore? Am I being un rational/worrying over nothing? Should I talk to him or am I being un fair?

Please help. Thank you.

[Sonrisa]

what is your main worry? his mom or him being away?

[alovehangoverr]

what is your main worry? his mom or him being away?

Great question.

It really isn't abnormal for a mom to call her son daily to check up on him, tell him things, whatever if they don't live together. My boyfriend lives on his own here in Michigan and his parents live in North Carolina. His mom and dad call and text him daily-- they're a tight knit family and even when they did live here it was the same sort of thing. Why does it make you uncomfortable?

Things I picked up from your post that seem more relevant than the mom issue:

1. He works long hours.

2. You don't get to see him as much as you'd like.

3. You've been cheated on in the past.

It sounds like this is the real issue-- even though you've mentioned you feel he's genuine you also brought up that you don't think you see him enough and a worry about him working so much. I don't think you would have mentioned the cheating issue if it wasn't still a problem for you.

Do you fear he might cheat on you?

[vashti]

The woman gave birth to him, and spent the last 25 years guiding and nurturing him, loving him, worrying about him, and investing all her hopes and dreams in him. Why on earth should they cut contact because he moved out?

I think I understand that you are worried about her being more important than you, and let's face it: she probably is (and SHOULD be). You have only been seeing him for a couple of months, and there is no guarantee you will be seeing each other in another couple of months. Blood is thicker than water.

I suggest you never give him the least bit of indication that you have a problem with his mother. If you want to see him more, then tell him you miss him.

[The_bobb]

Also, is she a single mom? Might explain their constant contact.

I think your over thinking this. He just works a lot, and has a mom. Nothing to worry about...

...I suggest you never give him the least bit of indication that you have a problem with his mother...

Listen to this. Because it's true...

[pinkpolkadot]

i think this is normal, because maybe the mom is going through empty-nest syndrome and misses her son and just likes to talk with him everyday.

and if you want to spend more time with him thats something that you need to discuss with him.

[Junket]

Blood is thicker than water.

I hate this phrase because it doesn't mean anything worthwhile.

[vashti]

I hate this phrase because it doesn't mean anything worthwhile.

It does to people with healthy connections to their family.

[Mish]

I think 3 months relationship is still new, give it a little bit more time. Though express your interest in moving towards seeing him more.

[Junket]

It does to people with healthy connections to their family.

But the phrase implies that regardless of your relationship with your family, they should come first.

This is bullshit, through and through.

[vashti]

But the phrase implies that regardless of your relationship with your family, they should come first.

No it doesn't. If you have a healthy connection to your family, they DO come first, and when you find that an outsider (BF/GF) rises in importance to the same level as your family, that's usually about the time you start thinking of getting married and familial priorities change. Then later on, they change again when children are born.

Of course if you don't have strong family ties, blood is NOT thicker than water, but that doesn't seem to be the case for the original poster.