Breaking Up

[pythongrace]

I’m thinking of letting my boyfriend know, that I just want to be friends because he doesn’t really meet all my needs. I think we have some similarities but our differences outweigh the similarities. I’m like a dude because I care about the physical connection a lot just as much as I do the mental and emotional. For me to stay with a guy, I think all have to be there. When it comes to physical, there are times that I am very attracted to him but there are also times that I feel not much, the only reason why I’ve been staying with him for 5 months is because he’s a nice guy, dependable, and reliable. I asked for him to get a haircut at least once a month, but he doesn’t seem like he wants to do it for me. I know that for two people to be in a real relationship, they are suppose to make each other better, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And I feel like I’m not influencing him whatsoever. He can’t even do one little thing for me. I just feel like he doesn’t think I’m special enough or maybe hot enough for him to try to look good. I know that he feels that I get a lil freakier when he is clean cut and we did some foreplays. Maybe that's not good enuff for him. I told him that I rather have him spend his money primping himself than spending money on movies or dinner, but he doesn’t seem to get the point. I just don’t want to tell him anymore what to do and what makes me happy. He already let me know that he’s been getting haircut every 6 weeks for 25 years and he doesn’t want to change. I don’t want to change anybody’s lifestyle. I’m thinking that maybe it’s better off that we just become friends and not lovers. I just don’t know how I can break all this down to him.

[Gigabitch]

I may not agree about the importance of the haircut thing, but I know that it's important to you. Really important. if this is still bugging you after five months, it's not likely to change. Obviously, this is just an example of what's wrong, not the entire story. If it were ONLY about how often he gets his hair cut, that would be insane, but I think it's just an indication of how incompatible you two are.

Staying with someone because he's dependable is not a good enough reason, and I think you know that if you really cared about him, really had an emotional connection, you wouldn't care how often he got his hair cut.

So let him go. You don't owe him a full explanation beyond "it's just not working out for me". Telling him it's about how often he gets his hair cut will only make you look crazy and shallow, so just be vague and be kind about it.

[Cain]

A haircut is definitely not something to break up over, so there has to be more.

I could grow my hair to my shoulders and get a full beard and my girl still wouldn't end things with me, regardless of how much she hated it.