Want to get back with ex, but how??

[chibamikey]

Heres my story its a little long so bear with me.

In short, I met the girl of my dreams and we were in love. For the first time in my life I met a girl that has a personality that is a very good match for me. We had that connection that I have with my best friends. I only have 3 people that I felt this comfortable and close to in the world. She was one of them the others are guys that are my friends.

Not saying I haven't met other girls that I truly loved, but this was a first. Everything just seemed right and we both kinda knew this from early on.

She left me but I haven't done anything wrong I am aware of. She just stopped talking to me. And it has been a few months. I have tried contacting her, sometimes with good results and others where she just acts like she is trying to hate me and saying things that arent true or dont really make sense.

Anyhow on to the full story.

I'm from the USA but have been living in Japan for the past 4.5 years. I work here. I had been taking my time looking for the right one to come along and when I least expected it, she did. She is a bit shy and has a kind of innocence and kindness to her. She gets my stupid jokes and makes the same kind of dumb things up herself that I can laugh at too. I thought we were going to get married. She even told me that she thought she would be with me forever. She felt the same way I did about our relationship I think.

Then we had a conversation one day. We were talking about the future. She said she would go anywhere with me inside Japan if she had to, she could do it to be with me. At the time I hadn't really thought too much about the possibility of me staying in Japan forever. I didnt think too much about it at the time., Then later we had another conversation about the future, and I was telling her how I was frustrated with my job not paying enough. And that I was thinking about a plan to make it to where we could live in Japan and the USA. Well I guess she didnt dig the plan but didnt know how to tell me. It wasn't anything set in stone but she apparently took it that way. That is the day when my troubles started and I didn't even know it then.

A month or so later, she was at my house and she had been acting strange. Not wanting me to touch her, and all of a sudden just said she had a doctors appointment she had forgotten. Well I said lets go then. And she took her time, not in a hurry at all. Then when she left to catch the train, I saw that she had left the iphone that I had gotten for her on the seat in my car. It wasnt an accident. I sent her a text right away asking what was going on and what I did?? She finally responded and apologized and came back and made up with me. It was an attempted breakup..

I guess I was at fault for not asking more to figure out why.. But at the time I was just happy to know she was still in my life.

The next time something went funky, I really pushed to ask what was going on with her. She finally broke down and cried out that I was going to leave her and go back to work in the USA.. I told her, no I wouldn't leave her, I wouldn't go without her. Unfortunately I still hadn't done the math and realized she had told me in girlspeak before that she didnt want to leave Japan.

Well now I had some idea what was going on.. But still know what to do.

Well anyhow next was her birthday. I planned a big day for her birthday. I took her to the beach and the park for lunch, gave her a necklace with a heart and also a stuffed animal I had seen her looking at with a flower. We ate lunch at the park and something felt wrong.. I didn't let it get to me too much, and made her have a good time. After lunch we went back to my house. We had a little time together and then I gave her a birthday cake that I had made. There just happened to be a fireworks display on this night so part of the plan was to take her to see fireworks. Anyhow, she was just swept away at the end of the night. She was crying in tears of joy.

Things were really good between us for a while after this, but I had a trip back to the US for 3.5 weeks. The first 3.5 weeks everything was good. We talked everyday and it was great.

The last week or so she stopped talking to me. Told me I was mean to her. And I don't know what I did. I couldnt do much being so far away. Then she told me she couldnt meet me at the airport when I got back. I said it was ok, that I would come and see her.

Well anyhow ever since then, it has been all downhill.. I got back to Japan and she didnt answer her phone or texts. I went to see her and it was a bit strange, We talked and things seemed like they might be ok.. She started talking to me again and the all of a sudden stopped.

I went to see her again.. (I know probably not the best way to handle things but I was desperately in love!)
And she wasnt as happy to see me this time.. Got kind of angry at me and I left with my tail between my legs.

It gave it 2 months after that, and I just showed up and saw here again.. She was so happy to see me. We talked and it was almost like nothing had ever happened between us.. I tried leaving after 10 mins and again after 15 but she kept stopping me telling me not to go.

Well then, I decided to go see here again, and well this time around she seemed like she was angry again.
I left asap.. Just more or less told her I was sorry and that I just wanted to talk to her. I left that day and havnt seen her since. It has been 2 months. I tried texting her a few times, and would get very short one word replies and one sentance replies. I finally wrote her telling her how I felt. That I would do anything to be together. I would stay here in Japan without thinking twice. That I loved her so much.

I told her if she needed time if something she couldnt tell me about is going on in her life to just tell me and I would wait. I told her I want to wait for her but I cant take not knowing anything any longer., I asked her to tell me what she wanted. That I needed an answer. She responded with a bit of a strange reply. She asked me to hate her please.. and sad I hate you.

I got another message saying dont call me. I hadnt called her a whole lot anyhow, but...

So I replied,
I dont know why you have done this, but I can respect you.
Im sorry but I cant hate you. But I will do as you ask and not call you.
I will miss you, and I wish you the best in the future..
take care.

Since then I have dated a couple of girls, but I just cant seem to get her out of my mind. I would love to get her back if at all possible.. I mean I think I just have to convice her Im serious about staying in Japan..

Do you think there is any chance?? Maybe if I got a more permanent job??

This is the girl I want to marry. .

[michelle23]

She wouldnt break up with you just out of you leaving as you said youd stay or she could go with you. I think theres more to this then shes letting on. Maybe her family dont approve of you or maybe she just didnt feel the same and fidnt no how to tell you

if she really loved you and wanted to be with you-she would be. You need to try to get over her and move on.

[chibamikey]

She wouldnt break up with you just out of you leaving as you said youd stay or she could go with you. I think theres more to this then shes letting on. Maybe her family dont approve of you or maybe she just didnt feel the same and fidnt no how to tell you

if she really loved you and wanted to be with you-she would be. You need to try to get over her and move on.

Hmm.. Im not so sure. I was on the opposite side of this kind of thing before. I loved a girl, but I knew she was leaving the country and I couldn't see it possible for me to leave. I broke up with her for this exact reason even though I did love her. You have to consider that she has never lived on her own and doesn't speak English well... Those two things plus responsibility for her family very well could be enough.. That and the fact she had a guy leave her before apparently.