returning with someone who make you suffer twice?

[confused444]

hi..
my ex-girl friend left me on the start of our relationship, because i did not show her real interests! so, she went with a new guy! but, as i regret that i did not try to hold her on, i told her i really love her & that i want return back to her..she said she loved me too but she can't koz she's with someone new..when this person left her, she immediately came back to me!!
on start, i did not want but finally i accepted as she seemed in so sad & loving me so much..

now recently, she left again, after nearly 1year in a serious relationship..
she told me she don't love me anymore, i guessed it's because i was kinda busy those last months & we did not do ANYTHING, & i was not really a good boyfriend...

but she left me, & go live at her ex-boyfriend's place(lie'ing to me as she told me she went at her dad's place) i went see her some times & each time, she lied to me saying she's at her dad's place or friends' place but arriving at destination, i saw that she was at her ex-bf place..
she told me it's just a friend, but it's hard to believe a girl whom told me she want me(sexually) the 1st day we met...

so now, what should i do? trying to get her back? or forget her?
my brain told me to forget her..
but i love her so much

[girl68]

forget her, your brain is right. she's just into you when no one else is into her.

[Gigabitch]

She's like a drug. Kick the habit.

[Rob36]

Yep just let this one go

[confused444]

thanks all for response...
but it's hard..
when all was fine, i tried to break up a lot of times(10times+) because i was mad she went with someone else on the start...
but she always cried with me & begging not left her koz she loved me so much...
twice she even tried to commit suicide because i wanted to go...
she came live at my place & we were like married..

then now, when she asked her why lie to me she said, that she told me to wait the end of our exams to talk & that at this moment she needed time to think & that me i was always sending a long of msg/calls (that she was ignoring)

today she needed to come at my place to get back some of her personal things but she did not come..i told to one of her friend..
she told me, she's may be scared to come! & that she loved me but as when she was at my place, i never looked at her, i was always so busy, she got tired!!

btw, we are both young & her she got a bad childhood..
divorce parent - living with a dad that don't love after her!!
so i just wanted to save her, but those last months, i was in such a confused state that i ran in an online game & this escape resulted in this break up...

[Rob36]

I always hesitate to say this but you say "when all was fine i tried to break a lot of times" As far as i can read into that its a bad sign either way

Youre only human to want to escape the situation

Just let it go and good luck

I recognise there is a language barrier here

[confused444]

i did not express myself correctly sorry..
i meant:
all was good is when we were in the relationship..
i tried to break up several times because of what she did before..
this was annoying a lot..
i thought i had forgave her but what she did haunted me & that why i tried several times to break up...
our story is really complicated !

now i can't sleep anymore, i don't want to eat, when i am alone i'm either feeling a big pain coming from my heart which make me so sad i wanna cry or sometimes i'm so angry that i want go far away...

[girl68]

Breakups are hard, we've all felt like that. The difference between you right now and the rest of us, is that you can't and don't want to let go- but we did and we ended up just fine.

[Primo]

Same old back 'n forth, back 'n forth, we've all been there a million times.

Bro, you KNOW it's the wrong thing to do. Everyone, including us, will tell you it's the wrong thing to do. So now go ahead and do the wrong thing, because we know you will anyway :-D Letting go can be a bitch, the ego gets in the way big time. I wish you the best.

[confused444]

Breakups are hard, we've all felt like that. The difference between you right now and the rest of us, is that you can't and don't want to let go- but we did and we ended up just fine.

i know i don't want let it go..
i know i'm being weak..
but, this girl, i dunno why i want save her..
if she left me, i know she will fail her life!!
& i also know she love me but her lack of affection in her childhood, make her a way, that she's not same as usual person...
i'm still at college, next time i will start my 1st year of psychology at university(if i dnt fail my upcoming hsc exams koz of her in my mind) , so i know i lack experience in love..
i got many girl friends but nothing like that...

Same old back 'n forth, back 'n forth, we've all been there a million times.

Bro, you KNOW it's the wrong thing to do. Everyone, including us, will tell you it's the wrong thing to do. So now go ahead and do the wrong thing, because we know you will anyway :-D Letting go can be a bitch, the ego gets in the way big time. I wish you the best.

thx for all, i really appreciate i can talk because this is like a bomb inside my head!!
i know i need let her go, & my anger for her push me to tell her ''byebye go fail your life''
but sometimes i think, if in 5years i saw her again , i learned she failed in life, really i felt myself as responsible for her..

you know,i was always escaping serious relationship to avoid such kind of pain later on...but with her, it was like it was the one of my life..she got a lot of problems & i wanted to solve all..but this over-responsibility in my head affected me, i need to get good result at school, i needed to be a good teacher to her so that she get pass her exams, i needed to take care of her because she got a lot of health problem, my parents did not agree she come live with me & i needed to support this...so i escaped this world, & i went in my online games, i stopped all, i was like dead, i was mostly athletic(always going gym,beach,volleyball,basketball,...) now i became fat...
so i have a big regret as if i did not try to escape my responsibility, she won't have leave

[confused444]

today called her ex-boyfriend with where she's staying at this moment, he told me there's nothing between them & that he considered her just like her little sister now..
so, today i made a test with her..
i told her she needed to come see me because i was so down that i needed talk to her..
she told me she would come another day...(she always said this since our broke up)
so i told her, never mind don't come i would commit suicide today then turn off my mobile..
i made this, to test her..
in my mind, if she had came, this would have mean that she still love me & the fear of my suicide, had awaken her so that she beated this fear in herself..
but she did not come...
some hours later, i sms her & told her why i did this & that now i understand it's really over, that i don't hate her but im just dissapointed, after all we made up!!
she did not reply, but i know she read it as a friend called her later & she told me she answered her...
why is she running away from me like that?
why is she avoiding all contact with me?
even talking, she looked like so scared !!
anyone can explain me why does she need to be so scare of me?
or is she fooling me & that i am just disturbing her?? (this one, its really hard for me to believe that, all what we did was so true )

[Primo]

No offense, but you have serious issues. I can see why she's trying to move on. You need to move on bro, like now.

[confused444]

No offense, but you have serious issues. I can see why she's trying to move on. You need to move on bro, like now.

if the one you love the most trying to move on, you should let her? :S
i am trying to move on too, but simply i can't..
i hate myself to look so pathetic but, i can't do anything about it...
i am trying to find answers that may hurt me or result in lies
but after what i saw today, i am more motivated to move on, to forget her, i just need to find a cure to this pain