Cheating, Lies and Frustration!

[savatreatabvr]

I think my girlfriend of 4 years has been cheating on me for several months now but she deny's every second of it and keeps telling me she loves only me no one else! All the signs are there like stories about where she's been that change and make no since, not giving me the normal attention she used too, spending a lot of time at her single girlfriends place where's there's constant partying and just basically acting exactly like a person does when they start seeing someone else! I haven't cheated on her but I've done my fair share, not proud of it but I know what's up! Now here's the clincher, out of the blue she calls me one day extremely angry and depressed but won't say what about, she just misses me wants to see me! When she showed up she now acts just like a person does when they've been dumped! It's now been a week or so, she's full of affection and we're back to our normal routine! I still love her very much but my feelings have changed! I see how certain friends treat me differently now like they can't believe I'm still with her but no one has proof of her cheating! I honestly feel that she was unfaithful but without proof I can't justify ending our relationship just based off of pure speculation! A woman's opinion or advise on what they think she was doing and what they think I should do would be priceless to me! Thank you for listening!

[girl68]

I would trust myself first.

She can't even talk to you about her problems- that's sketcky.

[Gigabitch]

You don't need proof to break up with someone. It's not like firing an employee. If you're feeling weird about her and not happy with what's going on, you can just tell her it's not working. I think you should. Cheating aside, she's not really acting like a girlfriend, is she?

[bloodtippedrose]

Damn! NO communication in this relationship! And when you say you've done your fair share does that mean youve cheated before on someone else? doesnt feel that great does it?

You need to talk to her. and not raise your voice, even if she raises hers. Watch how she reacts to what youre saying. thats proof in itself. Is she not making eye contact? Is she changing the subject? Making you pity her emotions?
And what if she isnt cheating (whichs is a little unbelievable but still..) she still has changed how she acts toward you and therefore is not the same person you fell in love with and THEREFORE you should just dump her and skip the drama.

Or if shes stubborn and swears she didnt then take her on Maury. get free plane tickets.

[savatreatabvr]

Thank you all for your reply's! Yes, just her simply changing the way she acts and talks to me over night, is an obvious red flag! The funny thing is I can't go to my mail box without her accusing me of sleeping around! My biggest problem of all is I was born with a disability that still haunts me to this day, I give people the Benefit of the Doubt! I call it a disability because it seems to always work against me! I guess people quickly figure out what they can get away with and then roll with it, give them an inch and they take a mile! I'm not looking for sympathy because I'm a nice guy, I'm just asking for advice! Thank you again!

[bloodtippedrose]

I always gave people benefit of the doubt until I started working retail. 2 years of liars, cheaters, thieves and assholes broke me of that.
I do not like at all how shes blaming you of cheating all of a sudden. Thats a huge red flag. She knows shes not being trustworthy so shes PROJECTING (defense mechanism) her untrustworthiness to you. My currents boyfriends ex started doing this when she was cheating on him. When I was cheated on my bf would get mad at me for crazy random things that never bothered him before just looking for any excuse to make me break up with him cuz the guilt was consuming him.
You should put a stop to the heartache, headaches and drama sooner than later. you already know what shes doing -_-
and that doesn't mean go crazy on the guy shes allegedly cheating on you with. Its not him youre really mad at, its her.

[bluesummer]

Why do you put exclamation points after everything you type!

[Gigabitch]

Why do you put exclamation points after everything you type!

Maybe he's on bennies and he talks that way IRL.

[savatreatabvr]

I didn't realize it, the explanation points, maybe I was trying to hard to put my point across! Whoops, did it again. Even though my girlfriend is 37 years old her actions remind me of how girls acted in high school. I guess running around trying to steal other girls boyfriends was so exciting some women just don't grow out of that phase. Everyone can be boring and old fashioned sometimes but to me when two people are in a normal relationship together, from the very beginning it’s built off of Morals & Values and over time an emotional, physical and spiritual bond is built that’s special and unique only between those two people and only those two people know what it feels like to be as one with each other! There’s no better feeling in the world than to be loved by another person for who you are, not for what you have but for who you are! That’s true love! My exwife was a topless dancer, you'd think I would have learned what not to do from her! Who knows, I guess I'll try to be fake and do what everyone else does and maybe I'll come out on top for once! So take what you want from this and leave the rest behind, it’s just how I feel, no big loss?

[bloodtippedrose]

JEEZ shes 37?! I thought you were a youngling! There is no excuse for how she's acting. Personally I couldnt stand it if I were you. If you're around the same age as her, your life isn't over, dont act like it is. dont act like you couldnt have someone better. that you dont deserve better. Basically its YOUR life. If something is making you unhappy then pinpoint EXACTLY what it is (one problem in the relationship or maybe her completely) and rid yourself of it. You only get one life, dont settle with being unhappy