i have been posting like crazy.... i realised that instead being a internet though guy i went to her house, texting her that i was coming around.
when i arrived all my stuff was neatly packed in a plastic bag. we talked for about an hour. no crying, screaming, begging, just 2 adults talking it over, '
she made clear she cant live with a liar. she still loves me very much. and you know what?
im actually at peace with her decision, for the moment anyway. I have hurt her and she has learned me a valuable lesson. when she is mad she cant show any emotion. i wanted to scream, shake the * * * * out of her but i was totally numb and could only talk. i wasnt being desperate. for once i have been honest and it felt good.
of course i will miss her cuz she is my everything, and i will never forget her . the things she introduced me to, her view on life, her bad and happy moods. the good and bad times.
all this time i was looking for an excuse to make everything ok without REALLY realizing what i had done to her. it wasnt just this isolated incident not that i ever cheated on her or anything.
you know how it is in a relationship, you cant give the facts and expect to others to really understand. if you want to explain it to anyone they should have been at each moment the 2 of you were togheter, all the unspoken things, all the little joys and frustrations etc..
i cant say she is overreacting. i respect her decision and of course i hope she will change her mind but icouldnt blame her if she didnt. i made up a lie for ...? what exactly? nothing ! an easy way out . i have been doing this all my life at school and jobs. if a lie got me closer to my goal i would not think twice about it.
she has been my first REAL love and REAL relationship (at 24). i thank her for all the moments. so i wont be needing any more advice