married and looking????

[sliz84]

okay. my best friend is in a weird situation. i don't know what to tell her to do. she works with this man who is 20 years older than her and married with 2 kids. she isn't really interested in him but she can't tell what his intentions are. the other night after work, he said they could go to a restaurant and he'd buy her dinner as a thanks for staying a little later than usual. she declined his offer b/c she said he made her a bit nervous. before that, she thinks he's been flirting with her a bit, but she can't tell for sure. she asked around and this man has never offered to take any other employee out to lunch or dinner...so far, she's been the only one. what do you his intentions are with a woman less than twice his age?

[Innova]

Well I'm not one to assume, because over the internet its kinda hard to tell. But I'll be pestimistic here, because odds are against this guy. First off, half the age, secondly it sounds like (from your discription) that he is a bit attracted toward her. It sounds like hes trying to get into some sort of stance with her. I applaud her for standing her ground, and I'd urge she contiue it, I mean shes also working with the guy, she feels akward as it is, why make it worse. Just tell her to continue not doing anything with the guy.

[sliz84]

you think? even though he's married w/ kids??

[Innova]

Yes and no, its a doubled edged sword. It's possible that he was being nice with dinner for her helping out, but at the same time I know how guys work in a business environment, thats where the affairs seem to climb high on the scale.

[WhiteXFlamez]

its very true about that.......so what if hes married and got kids?

just tell her to stay away from him (as in not eat dinner or anything like those that seems like leading on)

[Breezy18]

Oh my gosh! I SO know about this kind of situation. I was in a similar one, only I was that guys wife! Not fun. Doesn't matter if he has children and is married, tell your friend to stay away from him.

[sfalexi]

If he keeps persisting that he wants to pay her back and it looks like he won't give up until he gets her out, maybe she could try this . . . tell her if he wants to thank her with a dinner that yes she'll accept it, on the condition that his family is there with him and he can explain to them why she's there. That way he can still thank her for helping him, and she won't have a guilty conscience going to dinner with him and the family.

That will at least stop the pressure of him asking her out all the time and also will clarify as to what his intentions were/are (if he refuses and insists on a one on one, then beware. If he says 'no problem', then sounds ok.)

And if he says yes, tell her to meet him and his family at the restaurant (dont accept a ride or something) and if he shows up alone because his son or something 'got sick', walk away and take a raincheck saying that you just feel uncomfortable.

Alexi