male adivce, complicated situation!

[senoritablanca]

okokokok, so ive been seeing this guy for a while now and before we were really great together, he would take me out places, cinema, dinner, go for walks, he was just genuinely lovely. Then he started working overseas so our contact was minimal even though he would just go for 7 days, whilst he was away he emailed me saying how he really liked me but didnt want anything serious and just wanted to keep it casual (though i was looking for a relationship) so i said it was cool to keep it casual. On his return he was just acting like how he used to, taking me out to dinner, introducing me to his family etc...
then lots of little things started happening, i heard he asked a girl to sleep round his, when i asked him he said it was just flirting and he was more than satisfied with me, then i got told he had asked his ex girlfriend if he could see her so they could talk because he missed her and he had been planning to meet another girl. whilst all this is going on, he is telling me how he misses me and how hes going to buy me this and how much he wants me etc,
i really like the guy, am i just wasting my time?

[IncognitoSir]

I'm sure he does miss you. You're confused, you said you were okay with a casual relationship, but you're not. He has o obligations to you. Clearly you can't handle a casual situation, so you should just move on. Go find yourself a boyfriend.

[YouAreBeautiful]

I don't think he is interested in a serious relationship. I would definitely move on. Either he is not interested enough to be committed long term or he just isn't ready for that right now. Since it's early on I would say move on while you don't have too much invested.

[LailaK]

If a guy tells you he doesn't want a relationship and you want a boyfriend, it's your responsibility to tell him a casual thing isn't going to work for you.

Of course he's after other girls. By saying you are ok with a casual thing you gave him permission to date around. The real question is, why aren't you dating around? It's obvious that he's not serious. You are well within your rights to enjoy the way he treats you (taking you out, making you feel special, etc.) while at the same time dating other guys and trying to find a boyfriend.

I've found that when most guys say "let's keep it casual" they usually mean "I want to keep my options open". Most women in these situations don't use it to their advantage. He gave you permission to date him while still looking for the guy who is going to be your boyfriend. I say go for it. What have you got to lose. Just make sure you start putting it into perspective that this guy is for fun and nothing more.

[thundersw]

In my male point of view you said "it's ok" to be casual, so...it's ok!
He seems to enjoy your company, but not enough to be in a relationship with you. He appears to be honest with you and that's very rare.
Most men are just mindless perverts (about 99%) the 1% are the very few who know how to treat a lady when the situation demands.
He's not doing anything wrong, if you start dating many men he will probably back off, it may give the sensation you're a little bitchy. Man and woman are different and a woman that behaves like a man is in no way attractive, besides having VERY LOW standards.

[jaymichal]

well that's very interesting