21 - still single, still a virgin, still striking out - what do I do now? Help!

[soccerguy987]

Hi Loveforum community,

Hope you're well. Back again on the Loveforum asking for advice! I always get a little stuck and sometimes try to work things out for myself, but need a little guidance from people who have been in similar positions as me or can give me expert advice on my situation. Sorry if it's a little long - but I promise will be worth the read - and if you can give me advice I'd honestly be so appreciative. (For more info about me, check my previous posts).

So here goes:

Well I'm 21, UK, graduating in July from University and I'm still single (and still a virgin for those who are asking). Had my first kiss at 19 and havent done anything since! Since being at University, I've formed good relationships with girls and formed a really close bond with a really cute girl who I talked to day and night from November 2014- May 2015. Our snapchat score thing was like 50 with each other and suddenly last summer she just stopped talking to me (even tho we went to the same uni?!) - our relationship was never the same after that (she gave me dirty looks and didn't talk to me properly - very odd!).

Anyways, last summer - I stepped out my comfort zone and started following and messaging girls on Instagram and snapchat. Had a little bit of luck and met up with a girl for what I thought was a "date" - but ended up just being friends :/. Got close with 3/4 other girls over 12 months! First girl, super close and we got really flirty but then suddenly thought I came on across too strong, which was my mistake and something I learned from. Second girl didn't want to go out with me (even tho we were talking for like a month non stop) and ended up getting into a relationship two weeks after. Third girl is from Canada. I find Canadians hot so I added her (I'm going this summer to visit family) and we were planning to meetup. We spoke all the time then suddenly got slower and she didnt chat to me much (although she did snapchat loads still). Reason was - she got into a relationship but didnt tell me until i asked her whats up. Fourth girl - I'm talking to right now and we have things in common. But I'm not sure if we both find each other attractive and she sometimes cuts chat short :/

I'm now graduating and will no longer be around people who have similar interests in me (for anyone asking I'm a Sikh and looking to marry only a fellow sikh), and since theres a minority in my town - I'm sure my chances are quite minimum now. I'm striking out a lot online lol and in clubs - I find it quite difficult as girls can be in groups and quite intimidating to walk up and talk to them .

I'm 21 - and wouldn't consider myself shy UNLESS I know what I'm doing. I've danced on stage by myself, made public speeches in front of hundreds of people, so being "shy" isn't really a thing I do lol. Also - considering I've only had one kiss and inexperienced in love/dating etc, I'm a little worried of what may happen in the future.

I sometimes get anxious about the future too. For example; one of my favourite things is WWE. So a few weeks ago, I was watching a WWE PPV and thinking about how hot Lana was (google search Lana WWE is :p) and would love to have s*x with her. Then suddenly got the realisation that maybe wouldnt be able to have a girl like that because the way I am. When I get these sh*t thoughts in my head, I start to get hot and sweat a little bit, and my heart hurts a bit too - it's so weird and sad. I started crying too - whilst watching WWE!!!! I've never cried watching WWE lol. Anyways - things like get me worked up and need to know how to control it - any thoughts?

As for improving myself, I'm doing well. I have this whole "smart look" thing going on then I've been doing for 1.5+ years. Everything I wear is fitted and smart. For club nights, my favourite outfit is smart shoes, jeans, polo t-shirt underneath with a jumper on (jumper/shirt combo). I got new glasses last month (they're raybans!), and have a new hairstyle. Switched from the combover to a short spike look. I had a little problem with spots from ages 16-20, but not doing so bad now. and of course Hygiene is always on point. I worked out a little bit last yr, but got busy with uni. Looking to get back into it this summer once I save up - but does "working out" really matter?

Anyways guys, would appreciate your thoughts, feedback, comments and ADVICE! Pls help! Am I gonna really find love, or will the whole "inexperience" factor and time on the clock play a part? People who are similar ages to me are hooking up, in relationships, getting engaged etc - and I'm struggling to find my first gf/hookup and second kiss!!! LOL WTF! .

Your friend,
soccerguy987

[DatingAlpha]

Man, you're not alone! At 21, I was also still single, still a virgin and never even kissed a girl. You're better off than me as you already kissed one and I was very shy back then. I spent most of my time in uni playing computer games. After the girl I loved since 9 years old suddenly got married, I DECIDED to learn all I can about this area of my life and everything turned around. After dating 4 girls, I married the girl of my dreams.

It's good that you know what you want(a Sikh) but why would you be looking for someone to marry in a club? Do you seriously believe, great girls have the need to go a club to meet guys when they are bombarded by guys online and during their daily routine? If I were you, I'd go to places were Sikh people hang out online and offline to expand my network meeting more girls of same beliefs.

I salute you on approaching girls and it's fine if you don't have the time to approach girls in groups. You got them interested in you, the problem is, you bored them to death. It looks like you don't escalate fast enough physically. The same problem I had before when I still had no idea in this area of my life. They feel that they will get nowhere with you sexually. You were too slow that your third girl got into a relationship with somebody else.

I don't watch TV anymore as media is saturated to make you feel insecure and they sell you stuffs that are supposed to fix that but never will.

Keep up the good hygiene and yes "working out" is a sign that you value and keeps improving yourself. You don't have to spend a lot here, I do home workouts of www.scoobysworkshop.com for an hour a day and it does not only gets you in shape, it also makes you feel good, sharp and on top of things with girls.

Don't worry friend, you'll find love. Just invest in yourself to make you better in this area of your life.

[soccerguy987]

Hi DatingAlpha, thanks for you reply. How did you manage to turn your love life around? As for the club thing, theres a few bars near me that have a lot of sikh/indian people attend so you can meet girls. In UK, we have student nights and in notable cities such as Leicester, Birmingham and London theres lots of sikh/indian students like me. So that is a good place to meet girls. But im no longer a student, and have to travel 30mins-1hr to go to these specific bars/clubs. Meeting girls in clubs isnt something I'd usually consider, but last yr I stepped out of my comfort zone to meet girls. As for girl 3, we were planning to meet up when I got to Canada for my holiday - but she cited distance as a major factor. I guess thats reasonable. I've looked on dating sites and stuff but there are no girls/very little active users - never mind a girl I'm interested in.

Seems like Instagram is the place I may find my future partner :/