The past

[dipuc cupid]

Why can't things just be left in the past?

Things that were a little out of character for me such as letting myself get pressured into things that i wouldn't do normally... I realised this was stupid and i'm not allowing it to happen again because now i know that i can get out of anything like that.

But i told my girlfriend about things i had done and it just seems as though for the past 2 wees that we've been sorting things out, things still relate to that sort of but not as much, i just want to go through it a little bit more so it's all over with and so she can see that i've been tellin' the truth that i wasn't a "manslag".

I just don't like the way i've accepted her past but she still brings mine up. I just want it over with. Any suggestions? Much appreciated, thanks.

[Gigabitch]

Bring hers up. If she wants to dish it out, she can take it. She's the one that cheated on her last boyfriend, right? She should hear about it every time she wants to throw stones.

[girl68]

You tell her that what is done is done. Bringing it up doesn't make it go away. You know I've made the same mistake she is making. Given that I asked about it. But the idea is the same. I kept asking about his past and situations and "have you...." questions. Eventually he sat me down and told me that he does not like being asked about his past. The big stuff fine (by big I mean what's your longest relationship/ why did you break up NOT how many one night stands did you have/ with who) but not the personal, private stuff. He told me that I need to stop asking him. He told me that by me asking only makes him feel bad and me feel worse. No good comes from sharing that shit.

Basically tell her you can't undo what has been done. End the converstaion with you need to accept that yes, I've done a few things I'm not proud about but talking about it doesn't take that away. You need to accept this or you need to walk away. Then stick to your guns. If she brings it up again... you need to leave her (temporarily or permanently) no exceptions.

[Perryville]

Really 68, you cheated on your ex, too?

[girl68]

No, I didn't. What I meant was when I said I did the same stuff as her that I have brought up and asked questions about the past. Until I was shut down. My lesson was learnt the hard way.

[dipuc cupid]

Whattt now she told me that for a month or two before she knew me she, she had been around a few people (getting with, not sex) and talking to multiple people whilst talking to the ones she was already 'involved' with sort of. I don't get this 'cause she is saying she hopes that I wasn't like that but she can happily admit that she was! I don't ****ing get it!

[girl68]

You still don't get it. Tell her to shut the hell up. Seriously.

[psu786]

tell her drop it, if u gotta lash out do what u gotta do. u need to get a point across

[dipuc cupid]

like, really now. i can't seem to be able to explain. the only way i can prove it to her is by staying with her and over time she should figure out that i am not like that... she doesn't seem to be allowing the fact it can't be changed and that bringing it up all the time won't sort anything. i don't want to say i'll leave her if she doesn't start understanding because i wouldn't be able to function without her but i just don't know how to get the point across.

[girl68]

then YOU shut up and deal with it