he didnt say "i love you" back....am i wasting my time?

[sar281]

hey this is my first time posting on this site but i really need some advice.
been with this guy for a good 6 months now, but we have been good friends for at least 5 years before we decided to be together. its a great relationship. we get on so well, we enjoy each others company, he seems to be a very loving person, will always go out his way to make sure im ok, tell me im pretty and beautiful, regular txts and phonecalls.....but a few weeks ago, i blurted out the 3 big words....I LOVE YOU....was very much in the heat of the moment, we were having a carry one and he was making me laugh so much. the thing is i know i love him, there is no doubt about that, infact i have loved this guy for years! just never told him
but basically, when i sed it he didnt say anything bk, nothing, just went silent and gave me a cuddle....obviously i got upset....we spoke about it a lot and he sed that love is a big step....or a bond....but i sed to him i disagree, to me its just a feeling, a feeling that i have had for a long time with him. i thought he was gonna run away scared after this, and i was having second thoughts too, why stay with someone who doesnt feel the same. but when i gave it more thought i realised i was being childish and immature, i told him its not the end of the world, that its early days. and that i see no point giving up on something i have waited so long for. he agreed and we r still together, was awkward for the forst few days but all is back to normal now. tho i still think he has all this on his mind now. i told him there is no pressure. cause thats the great thing about this relationship, there is no pressure with anything, its so easy but basically a few friends have sed i am wasting my time....i disagree, i think i should give it time, i thnk he is worth it. i need some opinions please

[Boisdevie]

Just keep seeing him. Enjoy your relationship. And try to improve your English language skills. Or at least your spelling.

[sar281]

Just keep seeing him. Enjoy your relationship. And try to improve your English language skills. Or at least your spelling.

thanks for your opinion, thats also my thoughts, i think i should give it some more time. but not appreciating the remark on spelling....not easy being dyslexic

[RockNRoll]

6 months (or maybe just a little bit more - you can give him some more time) seem like a reasonable time. It's good that he takes such words serious and honest with you about it.

It's not about words, he may need longer time to develop deep feelings and be confident to say about them. The question is, whether there is a "chemistry" there, does he feel like falling in love and see relationship in a long term. As you have been good friends for a long time, you want to be sure that you definitely moved to the other sort of feelings/relationship.

Although it's something to think about and discuss with him, you shouldn't worry about it. You are right not putting pressure on him, just make sure both of you are in touch with your feelings and expectations.

[Lovable]

I agree, just enjoy what you have with him right now.

He may not be there just yet to drop the "L" word.

Enjoy him & the budding relationship you have with him. Why leave a guy that is treating you right, etc., over a few little words? IMO..showing you love/care/cherish a person is soo much better than saying I Love You & really not meaning it. Actions speak louder than words in my opinion.

[sar281]

yeah i thought 6 months was good length of time before bringing it up. but id also like to make it clear that this is not a new feeling for me, i have ALWAYS loved him, since i first met him. even tho i was in other relationships i wold always think of him when i knew i shouldnt have been. we hung out a lot as friends before too, but it was never like this. there was no physical contact at all except maybe the odd cuddle when i was having guy troubles. not he is soooo affectionate! always touching, hugging, kissing it all feels right. this is why i dont wanna jump at this technicality. the relationship he has with me at the moment is the longest relationship since he broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years. but they broke up 8 years ago when he was just 17. and he says hes only ever loved one person. so maybe this is the reason for him holding bk.
but thanks for both your opinions. i have the same views im gonna give it some time and enjoy what i have with him. i think to treat it any other way would cause issues and would hinder our relationship.