Confused, how do you tell me you love me and never leave you but then ...

[struggling]

assault and batter me the next day?

for you Pisces men ...

2-year off and on relationship with struggles of trust. he lied and deceived me ... more then once.
so needless to say I had trust issues with him and told him so. sent him articles about the importance of trust and how to rebuild and regain trust.

he never fully understood from what continued to happen

he seemed really into me and almost a month into our relationship he thought he was in love. he's @ 5-yrs younger then me. he doesn't care, i don't look it as he says. i've told him i think he'll resent me b/c i can't give him everything he really wants. just part of it. he says he's happy with what i can give him and he'd marry me. he's said that he's thought about wishing he can get me pregnant so i'd have to stay with him. things like that. that he can't let me go or give me up. note: he's always been very jealous for no reason I gave him other then being with him. he's the one that caused me to doubt his honesty to me.

he said he never felt like this before. he never had it all like he as it with me

he bought me a ring (engagement ring) for my 1st bday with him (just 7 months after). he didn't know it was an engagement ring but was trying to show me how serious he was

he bought me a crystal rose, as he first gave me a rose at a Valentine's event to approach me and wanted to give me a rose that's everlasting at the next anniversary (Valentine's)

he bought be diamond studded earrings on last birthday.

all of which i have returned to him ... b/c I felt we couldn't proceed, i still had trust issues with him

he always said never leave him, what it'll do to him if i left him. i will admit i was very very hard on him, i did verbally abuse him which he started saying recently and then his attitude change in the past two weeks

he started talking to an old friend ... a lot, obsessively. calling each other and seeing each other a lot. yet he said she was merely just a friend. someone who's been more of a friend then i have been to him

we had many break-ups but tried to get back together and work through our problems. he didn't know how to "fix it" he said and I said it has to be on my terms. he messed up, more then once, it's on my terms, he doesn't get to call the shots.

anyway, since he started talking w/ this girl he changed almost 180 degrees. verbally abusing me but at the same time saying things like promise him i'll never leave him. he's said he can't have sex with someone he does not love. I believed this.

when i found about how much he was talking with this girl and that he hasn't told her he's involved i told him he needs to and decrease talking with her. he said he will not tell her about his involvement and that he will decrease talking with her.

she had left him upsetting msgs this one Wed. morning when we were trying to work through our problems. she called him a dozen times and one of the messages was (crying) to please call her one more time and that she'll show him her poetry her baby pictures and that she'll do anything he wants if he'll call her just one more time.

i was very disturbed. he said he'll decrease talking with her. he said he's only seen her twice (which i think is a lie). anyway that one Wed. night he went to his brother's home, supposedly to work on his car. later i found out she was there that night and he said nothing to me about her being there. he had called and texted about staying late having having their pizza. she was there. He did not tell me. another lie and deceiving me when we were trying to work it out. because he didn't want me to leave him. and i was willing to be there for him IF he could only not lie to me, deceive me or hurt me.

the next day he called her first thing when he got to work and two other times he spoke with her before he called me. we were supposed to meet at his lunch hour. he called at noon to let me know he went home. i didn't like the way he was talking w/ me. told him to call when his attitude changes. he called me a little over an hour later. I said i'll come over so we can talk.

we were arguing, he started unbuttoning my pants. I refused. (Note he had stated he was sexually frustrated not too many days ago). he started blaming me for his financial troubles then he started ignoring me. i hit his butt.

basically he grabbed me, threw me on the bed and strangled me twice then when i called for help he tried to rip my mouth apart with his fingers in my mouth. he was booked and went to jail that Thur until Mon for Felony ADW 245(a)(1) charge.

i can't believe he did this to me. he has not written to show any remorse or apologize after all that's happened. i am very confused, hurt, and struggling. i've contacted him a week or so after he got out of jail (i contacted the DDA and requested not to pursue prosecution).

I spoke to one of his friend's and he told her he loves me and thank you. his friend said he did love me, he talked about me all the time. and it's not like him to write or apologize. and that he can't ever talk to me because of a restraining order. I did not get one. i don't want my name tied to his.

i've written him, left msgs, texted him the past two weeks. asking him how he could do that. I told him to be with that other girl and let me go but he denied it and wanted work it out with me but he does this to me and can't say anything to me.

i don't know what he's thinking or feeling and how he can't say anything to me. I've asked him to send me my things and he still has not that yet either. I really want my things back. I hate the idea he might use them with someone else.

could anyone tell me what's going on?

[leoben]

You have an unhealthy obsession with a man who assaulted you and has shown no remorse whatsoever about it. Forget about why he did it, whats going on in his head, whatever stuff of yours he still has, none of that matters, you are lucky to still be breathing. You need to do whatever it takes to stop contact and start moving on from this guy, because if you don't you might not be so fortunate next time.

[struggling]

You have an unhealthy obsession with a man who assaulted you and has shown no remorse whatsoever about it. Forget about why he did it, whats going on in his head, whatever stuff of yours he still has, none of that matters, you are lucky to still be breathing. You need to do whatever it takes to stop contact and start moving on from this guy, because if you don't you might not be so fortunate next time.

Yes I know this ... just unsettling and seeking closure I guess.
and why in the world did i get so obsessed. damn it

[Incognito]

If your stuff is really that important simply contact the police department (or go there in person with the police report in hand) and say that you need an escort to collect your belongings. If they can't spare anyone right then, they'll usually set up a time and date to meet you there.