heart broken

[brokenman121]

well been with my partner for over 5 years we have had our ups and down like any couple we have 2 children together and recentley moved into a new house last month.
3 weeks ago we split up and i am truley deverstated.
i dont kno what to do
today i was with her all day and the kids we went out for dinner took her shopping and went to to our old house which she lives in with the kids and did the gardening all day with her.
we laughed and joked together all day and had a really good time.
now the day has finished i lt her know that i had a really good time with her she said the same and said but we are only still friends hope you know that.

i just feel so lost at the moment i have no one to take to, dont know whats going to happen or if anything will happen

please can anyone help

[Gigabitch]

We need some details about why you split up.

[brokenman121]

from october 09 to march 2010 i was unemplyed, got layed off and we had no money so we really really stuggled at the time.
this meant we never had money to go out and have a good time together or i could treat her to what she deserved.
i got a new job in may and thought that i would get her something out of my first wage to really treat her.
i went out an bought an engagement ring.
i keept this quite and didnt tell her.
she was asking where this money had gone and rather than tell her the truth i just made up a lie so it wouldnt spoil the supprise, to cut a long story short we had a big row and she told me to leave

[girl68]

you were dumb to do that. first of all you should have recovered financially before blowing all your hard earned money on a ring. second when push came to shove (I understand not wanting to ruin the surprise but...) you should have told the truth.

[Jas_mine]

It definitely wasn't a rational decision financially! But I'm a sucker for romance so can't condemn you for it. I just think breaking up over it was a tad extreme, do you think there's possibly other reasons at play here? I get the feeling maybe she weren't too keen on the whole engagement/marriage idea for whatever reasons known to her and maybe used the situation as an excuse to end the relationship. Of course I could be way off the mark here but it's just how I interpret it. Am sure most women in a loving, healthy long-term relationship would be flattered at being presented an engagement ring, and that if it were that much of a dent in the pocket then surely she would have said 'it's a beautiful gesture honey but we really can't afford it at the moment, can we return it?'.

It's just my perspective though so don't crucify me for it!

[brokenman121]

no im afraid she dint kn about the ring untill last week when she found it clearing out my stuff

[-Valentina-]

what lie did you tell her instead of telling the truth? does she know the truth right now?

[brokenman121]

yeh she knows the truth now, i mean we spent all day together today she said were friends and we laughed n joked together just dunt kno whats gunna happen next as women's minds are very coplicated to figure out