Why do girls go MIA / stop talking so much???

[AnthonyCasta]

Hello ...

Can anyone help me here .. I have been dating this girl for 3 months, everything seemed to be going great! ... She even asked me about her moving in with me, but, then all of a sudden things just changed ....

Here's what happened, I saw her last friday for a few minutes while she was at work, I brought her some dinner ... After that, she texted me a few times, still on a positive note ... Example, I asked her if she had a chance to eat her salad, she replied with, yes it was good, thanks babe! ... Then, she didn't talk to me at all on sat or sun ... She did send a text sun night that said, sorry I've been MIA, I have a lot on my mind, stress ... I'll give you a call tomorrow ...


She never called, we texted a bit through this whole week, but very little ... She did say in a text that she wants to take a little mini vacation to napa valley... She made plans to have dinner with me yesterday, but she broke them ....

I'm really confused, she recently changed her phone number and deleted her facebook .. She told me that she didn't want anyone from her past contacting her ....

Do you think she met someone else ????

[Cerby]

This shouldn't be a generalization about women, most don't go MIA (Even when you want them to). Sounds like something, not sure what, happened to her over the last weekend, maybe something to do with someone in her past. I'd say ride it out, but not for long. If she doesn't give you a reason for the change in the next few days then you need to politely ask her what is going on as your relationship is suffering.

It might be over, there might be a legit reason, so make sure you find out before you make a rash reaction/decision.

[Maple1714]

Yeah, just ask her what is going on. Who knows? Could be something major and she is too afraid to share it with you b/c you two have only been seeing each other for a few months.

I went MIA on someone before and deleted my FB...reason...I met someone else and I didn't want to be questioned about it or anything leaking onto the internet. When people delete their FB and change a number it's b/c they don't want someone to find them...I wonder who she is hiding from and why? It might not have anything to do with you at all.

[AnthonyCasta]

When we did talk on the phone, she did tell me that something was going on with her mom, but, her mom is just not saying anything to her ... The problem I have, is simply this, if she has time to go out with her friends, why doesn't she have time to talk on the phone with me, if only for 10 minutes ...

The only time she has called me lately has been between the hours of 2AM and 4AM .... RED FLAGS!!!

[Maple1714]

When we did talk on the phone, she did tell me that something was going on with her mom, but, her mom is just not saying anything to her ... The problem I have, is simply this, if she has time to go out with her friends, why doesn't she have time to talk on the phone with me, if only for 10 minutes ...

The only time she has called me lately has been between the hours of 2AM and 4AM .... RED FLAGS!!!

You mean she calls when she is drunk after a night out with her friends? You know what I think then...she DEFINITELY has met someone else and is probably sleeping with him. When the new guy isn't available then she calls you This is just my take on it. I'm sorry....I have done what she is doing and that is the only time I deleted FB. I have also been in your situation before too. You should just call her out and see what she says.

[AnthonyCasta]

Yeah ... she calls me then ... I know it's not a booty call, only because I live so far away ... I would have never even picked up the phone, except, I haven't really talked to her, so I figured at least I could have that ....

This sucks big time ... I would love to call her out on it, except, I need her to talk to me first

What doesn't make any sense is that she wants to go on vacation with me ... Why even bother if she has someone else .. Maybe I'm her "plan b" or she's just trying to figure out who is going to give her more ....

[Maple1714]

This guy used to call me at 3am when he was drunk...and I assumed for a "booty call" but then he would just come over and talk and pass out? I don't know...it doesn't matter if its for sex or an emotional back-up....a 3am call when drunk isn't cool. Like you said, she has time to go out with her friends. Try and get her on the phone and just ask her what the deal is. Give her some shit...see what she says. Let her know you care for her and that you will not wait around like this any longer.

I could be wrong about another guy, but sounds fishy to me. You might very well be "plan b" too...men and women do this to each other and it isn't right. I feel so bad about the 2 guys I did this to years back. I was being selfish and I blew it with both of them. They both forgave me and have moved on...but still it's not right to string people along for selfish reasons or any reason for that matter. Good luck and keep us updated!

[AnthonyCasta]

You are right it is selfish .. I too have done it in the past, and it isn't right ... However, when I would date a few girls at the same time, they all knew it wasn't serious ... This girl told me that she thought our relationship had moved to a different level ... I thought she meant stronger level! ... Maybe she meant date others level! ...

At any rate, It's almost 1pm here, and I haven't even gotten a text from her ... Why people play games, I'll never know, I will, however, chalk this up to her age and her not being mature enough to handle a true guy ....

[Maple1714]

You are right it is selfish .. I too have done it in the past, and it isn't right ... However, when I would date a few girls at the same time, they all knew it wasn't serious ... This girl told me that she thought our relationship had moved to a different level ... I thought she meant stronger level! ... Maybe she meant date others level! ...

At any rate, It's almost 1pm here, and I haven't even gotten a text from her ... Why people play games, I'll never know, I will, however, chalk this up to her age and her not being mature enough to handle a true guy ....

Yeah, best to just let it go. People play games when they are insecure about something....themselves/life in general/relationships who knows? It is immature and you should move on. She may explain herself one day who knows?

[AnthonyCasta]

I understand .. Easier said then done ....

I've notice myself checking my phone to see if she text me, a lot more then usual ...

[Maple1714]

Yeah, I know its SO hard! Almost impossible sometimes to let go of someone you care about...but maybe just try going no contact for 2 weeks? Then, contact her if you haven't heard from her and try and talk. I bet she will call you sooner though...just see what happens. Every time you feel like contacting her for the next 2 weeks, call/text someone else.

[AnthonyCasta]

Actually, I am leaving tomorrow night to chicago to see my aunt who is on her death bed, I will most likely be gone for about a week ... I sent her a text last night explaning that I was going to be leaving .. I also told her that I wanted to talk, and share what was going on in my life ... I also told her that I would like to see her or at least talk to her before I leave ...

The only response I got back was ... I'm very sorry to hear that ..

[Maple1714]

I'm sorry...yeah she is trying to distance herself I am afraid. You must move on...

I was dating a guy a while back...and one of my best friends died on his 30th birthday. The guy I was seeing kind of knew him. I texted that guy and told him I just fond out Gary had died...the response I got was "I am sorry for your loss"....really? It was cold and sounded like something a stranger would say, not something a guy I had been sleeping with for 3 months would say. Her response to you sounds very similar.

People are weird...some are meant to be a bigger part of our lives than others, but EVERYONE we come in to contact with teaches us something about ourselves. Take what you can from this situation and move on to the next. She may come back into your life who knows? The guy I was dating who responded coldly to me did come back into my life after he realized I am pretty special...but guess what? I had moved on...douche lol...

[AnthonyCasta]

Thanks ... I really want to text her and ask her why she is so cold towards me .... You think that's a bad idea, seeing she hasn't contacted me all day???

[Maple1714]

Yes, bad idea. Leave it alone. Try and lean on some of your friends and do not text her anymore! She has something else going on and I can guarantee its another dude.