Hopelessly in Love

[cosmicgenius]

Hi to everyone,

Ladies, I need your help and advice. I am hopelessly in love with a married woman. I know this is not a healthy thing to do but I am not able to tell this to anyone nor take it myself. I am heart broken and am trying to get over this phase and resign to the fact that she is not for me.

But I need one advice to make myself feel happy. Recently, it was my birthday and she took me out for dinner along with other people in the group. She really did not seem to pay much attention to me other than normal.

I sent her an e-mail the next day thanking her for taking me out on my birthday and that she should give me a chance to take her out sometime. She replied saying that she bought a new dress for herself for my birthday dinner party. I have been getting some mixed signals from her recently that I cannot comprehend. Since I am in love with her, even the smallest attention seems to indicate that she likes me but overlooked those. Ever since, she replied in her e-mail that she bought a new dress on my birthday, my heart is not able to control itself.

I do not want to ruin her married life, but all i need to know to is whether she knows that I love her and the fact that she got a new dress on my birthday, what does that mean or what does she intend to say?

I will be happy just knowing that she loves me back. I dont want her to leave her husband or ruin her marriage. Would it be a good idea just to tell her how i feel and that i dont intend any physical relationship with her?

Please, I request ladies/women to give me some advice or insight.

[Citycat]

How old is she? How long she's been married? Does she have children?

[cosmicgenius]

Thanks a lot citycat.

She is 31 years old. She has been married for 8 years and she has no kids.

[miSSleepy]

You shouldn't have been making offers to take her out,
you should not think too much on the dress,
you should not tell her you like her
and you should not try to find out whether she likes you.

In other words, you should not be doing anything more than a friend would do with a married person of the opposite sex. No taking her out, especially.

You say you don't want to ruin her marriage but you're taking the right steps in doing so. If she's unhappy in her marriage she needs to solve this issue on her own... and you've given no indication that she's unhappy.
Either way, she doesn't need proclamations of love from you.

As for the dress, it may mean nothing.
I myself buy at least one new piece of clothing every time there's a special occasion, any special occasion. I'm sure there are others with this behaviour as well, out there.

[cosmicgenius]

Thanks misSleepy, I dont blame you for the advice that you gave. All I was looking for to know whether she likes me. I am not going to tell her how I feel.

The thing is she did not mention that she got a new dress for my birthday during the dinner and mentioned it the day after in an email. She never expressed things like this before. That is what is bothering my heart

[cosmicgenius]

She also had this many LOL and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!exclamations after saying that she got a dress for my birthday.

[miSSleepy]

She also had this many LOL and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!exclamations after saying that she got a dress for my birthday.

Manic, much?

[Cain]

I was going to offer advice until I saw that she was married.

You need to grow up, get a life, and start finding women that are single.

[IndiReloaded]

If you want to know how she feels, ask her.

But, as a long time married woman, I can tell you that if she's been married for 8 years, chances are good she is just bored or otherwise dissatisfied with her marriage (a perfectly normal stage to go through, btw). You are providing some 'safe' excitement for her and perhaps a distraction from needing to spend energy improving her marriage. So. Even if she does truly like you, and maybe even considers you a 'might have been' as far as a relationship goes, you are best off spending your efforts on an unmarried woman. Chances are, she ain't leaving him for you. Sorry, hun.

[cosmicgenius]

Cain, the thing is i am not able to contain my thoughts and I dont want to do something that I might regret like asking her if she likes me. I really mean it when I say that it is enough for me to know what she feels without asking her. That is the reason I am on this forum.

I have never asked for such a thing ever in my life online and I really do not want to waste my life. I know it is a temporary phase, I just need some solace so that I do not get more depressed that I am right now.

Can you please give me the advice you were going to?

[shh!]

What woman needs to have a crush on someone in order to buy a new dress? Any excuse to buy something pretty will usually do.

I think you should be really careful. My intuition tells me you are about to do something really dumb.

[IndiReloaded]

Why should you be depressed about this? Aren't you flattered she likes you? That's basically ALL you need take away from this experience. What, you think she's the only woman in the world that will find you interesting? Or are you just bitter you can't always get what you want? Tosh, that's life kiddo.

Do you have a girlfriend? If not, go get one. You dont need to marry her, just go have some fun. That will help with your 'depression'.

[cosmicgenius]

Thanks shh. That is the reason I am here. I know women do not need excuses to do shopping. But the thing that is eating me out is why did she have to tell me when she never did such a thing before. I called her after this to talk and casually asked her why she is buying dresses on others birthdays and we talked about the color of her dress. I purposely said it was the wrong color and she corrected me and I felt it matched the dress I wore the last time I met her though she did not say she got that color specifically i wore last time i met her.

[shh!]

I think you are WAY over-thinking the dress. Do you often experience compulsive tendancies, by chance?

[IndiReloaded]

You wear dresses? Are you a guy or a gal? Is this a troll?