intimacy

[seeking_advice]

Is it wrong to "plan" or set time aside to be intimate? of course unplanned, spur of the moment, intimate time together is better, but what if you sometimes have a busy, tiring schedule, and intentionally try to set time aside for the other person when you would feel your best? Is that right or wrong?

example: honey I had a rough day, or, I am tired, or, I am not in the mood..... I have the day off tomorrow and I think it would be better, a better time, the better for both of us?

Should one be intimate with their partner when they are not completely into it at that particular time just to make the other person happy? or should they both be 100 percent interested?

Are you offended, or do you feel rejected, if your partner says I am not up for it tonight? Do you feel that means they don't care about you? or that they generally have no interest in you anymore?


What would be the average that a couple in their 40's spends intimate time together?...Is once? twice? three times a week? unfair to the other person?

[VincenzoG91]

It's okay to plan time to spend together. That's called a date, and even married couples can have date nights. It isn't okay to plan intimacy, because if you aren't both in the right mood, it isn't a good time to be intimate. And mood isn't something that can be planned in advance. However, if a date goes well, that definitely increases the chance of the mood being right.

[Rixy]

I agree with Vincenzo.
I think you can still try to plan date or intimacy if you want; it can be exciting waiting for this particular night and getting ready for it... But yes you will both have to be in the same mood to make it work or make it fun.

What would be the average that a couple in their 40's spends intimate time together?...Is once? twice? three times a week? unfair to the other person?[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

Based on that, I don't think quantity is the answer... I think quality is.