Advice on a Situation...

[number9]

Hey all. Let me try and explain the situation:

I'm a junior in high school, but I go to my local community college for some classes to get ahead. Anyway, I have fallen head over heels for this girl in my college Psychology class. She is pretty quiet, and whenever she's spoken in class, it was really soft-spoken. However, I've seen her talk 'normally' to some girls who commented on her clothing. She's not outrageously hot, but I'm just crazy about her. So she isn't insanely good looking, but she is pretty. So there are my three strikes against me: quiet, older (Im guessing shes 18 to my near-17), and out of my league.

Anyway, last week I gave her a note explaining that I wanted to get to know her, but I was too shy to actually try and talk to her. I worked up the courage and managed to give it to her, but unfortunately she did not approach me or write a note back the next class (heart-broken!). In my note, I made it clear that I just wanted to be friends (because I realize that I couldn't date her.) Plus, I just LOVE being around her, and thats really all I want -- to see her after this class ends.

So the last day of class is this Tuesday, and I've got some choices to make. I can wait to see if she does give me a note or talks to me before class on Tuesday. I could also try and talk to her. The first one isnt a good choice because if she doesn't do anything, then its all gone and lost forever. The 2nd choice isnt much better, as I don't want to come off as demanding and its rather hard to find time to talk. The last day is a test day, meaning we'll all be leaving when we finish our tests.

Someone give me some idea. This is the first time Ive ever had feelings for any girl, and I've never had any experience at this at all. I just can't let her go...

Thanks.

[MVPlaya]

WHAT!?!??!?!?!??

MY GOD, THAT WAS A HORRIBLE THING TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

OK!!!! Here's what you did wrong:

• You've fallen "head over heels" for some chick you never talk to... BAD MOVE!!!! Don't fall for a girl until after you date her, if you fall beforehand you seem desperate and ruin your chances of success.
• You immediately reason you can't be with her... I've dated older women before and I dated a freshman at Cal my Senior year in High School who was DAMN hot, and I was no player back then.
• You write her a note... don't do this, it seems really week, talk, even if you don't have the guts, do it anyway, just don't think and talk to her as she's leaving class, follow her, and try to get her #.
• You write that you "want to know her" (this is anti-challenge, you clearly have a crush because you couldn't say this and you are already falling for her) and you say that you were "too shy to actually try and talk to her"... this is ridiculous, you shouldn't admit fear or intimidation. You have to Be a Man!
• You say that all you want to be is "friends," by saying that you make it clear that dating was something you thought of.
• You want to just "be around her" this sounds creepy and "stalker"ish.
• You write you want to see her after class, BUDDY!!! She's too scared or freaked out to want to see you after class.

You say "can't wait to see if she does give me a note or talks to me before class," buddy, its not elementary school, girls dont write notes. You say yuo have choices: 1, wait for her; 2, talk to her. You should go with number 3:
LEAVE HER ALONE

Buddy, you have ZERO chance of dating this girl, ZERO. No fantasies here, no magic thoughts of "I'll win the lottery and she'll love me" - this one is gone. Now, here's what you do, you forget about her and stop groveling for her attention. You say you can't let her go... why? Because she's average looking and soft-spoken? You don't know this girl so don't fall for her. If you've already fallen get a grip and leave her, trust me, I date lots of women and you've blown this one away beyond repair. Now, this was probably a first attempt at dating by you and its ok, people all make mistakes. Whats important is that you try to learn some lessons from this.

Do this, there is this GREAT article on what girls look for, it may not be all girls, but this article shows what most women want in a man and what mistake shy/nice guys make, read it, it could give you an important lesson:
[URL=http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1253&forumid=6]Be a Man![/URL]

[GigaloDJ]

LOL oh man...

...poor guy

[squirrley]

oh man-from a WOMANS stand point, you messed up dude! Writing notes? Hello, you can speak right? MVP was right. Sorry to blow your ego. But listen, women at that age want a guy whose gonna TALK to her, sending notes to her and saying WHAT you did, was a crime in her book. So reality check, the next time you get interested in someone, talk to her, dont send a damn note her. You need to be assertive in what you want. Straight up, don't play games, even though MVP does know what he's talking about, you played games right out of the blocks with your notes. Be real to yourself, if you want something go for it, don't lie to yourself about it, then try to get it, what is that?

Thank goodness you came here so people like us can help you succeed in this lovely thing we call getting a piece of ass!

[Name]

The note thing was a bad move.

Talk to the next girl you're interested in. It sounds like you need to study confidence. Go after what you want next time. Be a quarterback, not a benchwarmer.

[LightOn]

Yeah you screwed up! but hey its ok 99.999999999% of us have been there, don't feel degraded in anyway. You are human we were givin the gift and also curse of free will, so were bound to screw up every now and then.

Does that mean she will understand that? I'm sure she does, but I highly doubt she will fall for the "I'm to shy so I'll give you a note" gag. Find some more women, be hard to get.....and of course read the article MVP posted. Nobody is perfect, so there is always room for improvement.