Cofused...old friend or lover?

[mupsik86]

Hello everyone!
I recently got on this forum. Don't have much clue how it works but I will try to make it clear and hopefully some of you guys/girls will be able to help me with some advices.
So here is my story...I met my "Ex" on a bus ride, lol, 2 years ago.We start talking and eventually became friends, and later on after a month or so we started to date. The relationship didn't turn the best it could turn, because he was always into himself, not selfish just into his old world kinda...I never understood what happened with him before, but I guessed that his passed relationship didn't end up well, so I just left it for "how it will go"...and it went, wrong. The luck of communication and the space between our dates leaded to our split up..by my fault, I ended it like 4 times.And eventualy, after the 4th time, we broke up for good.
A year passed away,I have been seeing other people, and in one day, I was cleaning my e-mail address book, and I found him e-mail, and decided to give it a try, to say "hi" and see how he was doing...He replayed right away, and from that day we start talking and talking and talking...Eventually we meet, then split up again. He left Boston, and we kinda left it where it was - no where...We were talking on the phone meantime, and the conversation weren't end, there is this attraction that can't be defined. We started spend time together,a weekends, seing each other when we get a chance, but we don't get to talk what do we want from each other and what is this all about. I felt in love with him and I need him more and more, and I know that this time could be great, me& him, because we have changed...we both love freedom,and have some common interest, but I am so afraid that I am going to lose myself in him and I will ruin everything... I am very cheerful and lovable person, and people usually are very attracted to me from the first place, but with him, I just wanna be quite and just be there, in silence...it's so confusing ...
...so, my question is, is he just and old friend , a deja-vu or a lover? can it be love?

...girls or guys, if any of you have been trough similar situations, how did you deal with them?...how to act ,to not make full of yourself?

[Reath]

I think it's just DeJa-Vu..

I mean, you broke up for good so let's just leave it at that... and the facts that you're obssesed with him is because you're not hanging out with other guys? Try go out and hang out with other people and see how you feel.

[mupsik86]

Reath it's not that...I dunno how to explain it...I don't have problems seeing someone or going on a date.Even now I have like 2 guys that are just waiting to take me out and I keep postpone it, not because they are not interesting people or something, exactly the opozit, I'm just not interested anymore...I really don't want to get into a relationship with no one, because I've been trough that and honestly, I am tierd of that...I wanna be single for now...and I want "him"...lol... The "ex" is just someone that knows me for such a long time, and his so personal personal, that I don't find words. I feel like he knows me & don't at the same time more then anyone ...it's freaking weird...lol

[Reath]

I don't know how to answer you on this one. It still seems like it's deja-vu to me. Since you wanna be single now, tell those two guys that what you're feeling right now. Don't let those two good guys wait meaninglessly. Maybe you'll find your answer after you talk with your ex a few more time? I don't know.

[mupsik86]

Thanks for the advice, I will certainly...the only problem is that, I repeat my self over and over again when it comes to relationship question. I have told both of them that I am not interested in nothing more than just friends and , for some reason, THAT works for them as a completely "turn on",LOL !!...is like you know, the only way for me to "get rid of their attention" is becoming needy and start calling them every 5 min....lol...I'm pretty sure they will leave me alone after that, but, I don't wanna do that because , I just can't...I rather have them as friends only...
My Ex left for Berlin for 3 months to study, so, the "talk" if he will ever have place, will be only when he will be back... I'm just trying to understand if I love him or not?
did you ever loved someone? and if you did, how it feels like it?

[Reath]

I did and it's my first crush. The feeling I'm currently having now is quite settled even by the fact it's so dramatic now.

Okay, fine I mean the first time I realised I felt in love it's like staring at a blank wall and her face will pop up.

Call him? Technology is made for our convenience If you can't... then you really have to put off as a single until he comes back. Maybe by small chance before he come back, your feeling might already settle down by then. For your case, I think you should really should just go with the flow. Your situation needs time for you to think through and though until you get sick of it and somehow thought that it's just another happy memory.

[mupsik86]

...you might have a point. I agree with you on that. I know the time will make his job, by the time that he will come back, my feelings for him will cool of, I might be still single and if there will be something more then just a "friendly" feeling I will go with the flow, if not, then you know , it's not meant to be , I will move forward and just be friends with him ...
life doesn't start with a relationship and it will certainly not end with one, right ? ...I'm gonna be fine, I am starting to heel DDDD thx for the advice, I feel much better now...
...so, wait wait wait, what do you mean dramatic? how long ago was it and why "dramatic" ???

[Reath]

You can read my thread if you want! It's pretty much my drama of being stupid.
The dramatic is being dramatic in a sense of like it's a story. Sorry if you get confused

[mupsik86]

lol, you are funny...
well I read your story, and I think I know with what you are dealing with....if she likes you, you will get some signs,if not, then, there are nothing to hold on to it. Sometimes, we girls, are just waiting for the guy to make the first move. If you haven't asked her out yet, ask her. Don't hesitate. If she will say no, it's gonna be ok too, at list you will have an answer and you will be able to move forward... I think Carl told you that too, didn't he?

[Reath]

Eh.. I thought Carl's a girl?

[mupsik86]

haha...really?? well now I'm confused...lol...did you ever met a girl by name Carl? LOL..I didn't