broken up for 3 weeks but he still calls me everyday.y?

[lovepolis]

Me and my ex were together for 6 years. He initated the break up saying that he wants time to work out his career and he wants to be selfish. He said he no longer feels the same. But when i ask him to tell me straight in my face that he doesnt love me anymore, he said he cant do that. Does he still love me or not?

So it has been 3 weeks, and he has been calling me everyday,sometimes even twice a day. And we just talk like friends. Do friends call each other all that often? I still love him a lot, but i am confused by his actions. I am not sure if i am correct, but i think he still loves me.

I was told by a friend that when guys initate a break up, they are normally very heartless and they wont call or look up the girl again.

what am i suppose to do? pls advice

[Mish]

So it has been 3 weeks, and he has been calling me everyday,sometimes even twice a day. And we just talk like friends. Do friends call each other all that often? I still love him a lot, but i am confused by his actions. I am not sure if i am correct, but i think he still loves me.

I think he's just checking up on you to make sure you wait for him while he carries on being "selfish". He might come back if he gets tired of his selfishness or doesn't find anyone better. I think you're falling into his Plan B.

[lovepolis]

so what should i do?

[starbuck]

so what should i do?

He's not being fair to you by keeping you hanging on while he goes off and does his thing. He's not your friend, he's your ex. I'd tell him you need no contact with him for 3 months. This allows you to heal and move on. If he still tries to contact you, don't answer his calls. Then distract yourself like crazy so you can stop thinking about him.

"I want to work on my career" is just jerky code for "I don't want to be tied down." You deserve much better, IMO.

[Gigabitch]

I suggest telling him in great detail about your new single life. He wants to be your "friend", right? Okay. I tell my friends all the shagadellic details. You should too.

Oh, and by the way, you shouldn't have to make these details up. You should be out leading a whole new life, not sitting around scratching your head about what his constant contact could possibly mean. He broke up with you. This means you are single. You might want to start capitalizing on this.

[Mish]

so what should i do?

I think you should get on with life. Spend time with friends and look for new opportunities.

[Gigabitch]

You know what they say: "The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one."

[Yacker]

OR maybe he still loves you but something is masking that at this point and he needs to resolve whatever he is going through.

It's your choice to be patient and wait it out a while or move on and do whatever you want. It is possible that he is concerned for you because he loves you but not in that relationship sort of way.

People get confused sometimes with their own feelings when they don't have themselves figured out and make decisions like his. Sounds like to me he isn't meant to be in a relationship at this point in his life and recognized that and needs to work on himself. That's why he appears selfish, try to be his friend for a while until one of you does something that the other just can't handle and then that could part you for good and that's the way it goes. If you don't want to deal with that and move on to build something else in your life then do so.

[StupidMan]

i suppose i happen to be the same guys with ur EX if you read my thread. Might not be the same case, but likely the same..

Tell you what, he loves u.. and he wanna get you back again... he told himself, if u get back to his side again, he will never let you go anymore even if it cost his life.
Trust me, i am going through such thing at the moment.

Give him some chances to prove..

[lovepolis]

i asked him if he wants to get back, he said no. I asked why he still calls, he said because he has no one to talk to. So if he has, means he wont call me anymore. His reason for not being together is simply because we have been quarrelling too much. And it is because he is showing another girl too much attention, and has no respect for me as a gf. I told him not to call me already.

[jinx343]

SM, just because you and LP's guy have something in common doesnt mean you think the same way...

WTF... he's just talking to you coz he has no one to talk to???? i will give you another reason why he's calling you.. so he would know how ur doing when you dont have him while he knows ur still crazy about him and wants him back.. it's called "ego feeding / boosting" or whatever you call it when a person wants to feel his importance or how he affects the other person.. duh

good decision LP... cut off all contacts. he's too selfish, inconsiderate and insensitive beyond words...

get on with your life.. you deserve somebody better... move on

[Only-virgins]

You know what they say: "The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one."

The best way to get over a girl is to wake up next to her in the morning and see her true beauty. hahaha. lolz

i suppose i happen to be the same guys with ur EX if you read my thread. Might not be the same case, but likely the same..

Tell you what, he loves u.. and he wanna get you back again... he told himself, if u get back to his side again, he will never let you go anymore even if it cost his life.
Trust me, i am going through such thing at the moment.

Give him some chances to prove..

Not every situation is the same. Though I don't see why someone would need to break up with someone to continue the career on track. You can do both, and if so you can tell you girl that you need to take some time to do this or that but not break up for crying out loud. Just because you are dating someone doesn't mean you have to spend every second of you life with them.

[bluesummer]

Tell you what, he loves u.. and he wanna get you back again... he told himself, if u get back to his side again, he will never let you go anymore even if it cost his life.
Trust me, i am going through such thing at the moment.

Give him some chances to prove..

You have got to be kidding me.

This guy is just keeping you around in case something better doesn't come up. Good for you for telling him not to call anymore.

[someonelse]

Been there done that... my bf of 4 years and getting engaged told me the same thing. I was pissed/heartbroken and everything else. And yes he too kept in touch and got my hopes up for getting back together and shut me down. Then when I started seeing someone else boohoo'd about how he misses me and wants me back and I said no. Then tried to make me jeolous w/another girl...didn't work. Now three years and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm w/a great guy who doesn't want a break from me to pursu n e thing. And oh yah my career turned out awesome while he's still at the same deadend job

You did the right thing. Get yourself out there and live your life and you too will see it's the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

[lovepolis]

This is so encouraging, but i am so afraid i will never meet another guy like him. i am scared. He is my first love and our relationship lasted for 6 yrs. For the past 1 month its been tough...i cry everyday. I love him so much and have sacrifice so much for him. His reason for breaking up is that we are different. Partly because i dont like how he has been handling his stuff. He accepts expensive gifts from a girl fren, the girl fren asked him to go to a wedding dinner with her as a couple, he said yes even without asking me if i was ok, the girl was outstationed for a while and he volunteered to have all her snail mails transferred to his house. She sent him donuts for breakfast at 6am in the morning. And they chat n sms each other very frequent. I feel he is leading her on. And she likes him. i felt really upset that i dont get the respect i deserve as his gf. He even took a picture with her with his arms around her waist and he said it was nothing. And the girl sent him an sms saying this " you always say u will call me when u are back home safely but u didnt". she kind of expects him to do more than what a friend should. By the way, shes my friend too. I have no more respect for this friend of mine.He kept saying that i was conservative and refuse to solve this problem. And we broke up, he said he wants to concentrate on his career and that we are different. 6 yrs!!! because of this we broke up...i cant take it..but i have been very tolerant of him, and in a way ...i haven been really happy, there were times when i know abt something, i wont confront him, because i hate to quarrel with him as well, at the back of my mind, i keep thinking to myself that just maybe one day he will change. but i guess not....i know there wont be another girl who can tolerate him and love him so much. i mean i kind of thought abt it, the reason why i quarrel with u over this is because, u mean so much to me and i dont want to lost u....i am moving on...i just need to let it out and hear what others gotta say