Advice dealing with an ex

[confused_guy]

Hi all this is my first post here. I need a little advice.

So my ex of a few years ago have been hanging out a lot lately. She is currently getting out of/clinging to a relationship she has been in for almost 2 years. She is having some emotional problems right now. She has told me before that she doesn't like her bf and she wishes she would have met someone fun etc. Just last week she had a pretty serious emotional break down and I had to help her out. She said she didn't love him but she is co-dependent on him and it feels like her world is coming down around her. She is going to start seeing a therapist this week to get some help. Since hanging out again I have been getting some mixed signals from her. I have asked other friends (who are women) and they have said the signs point to her maybe wanting more but I'm not really sure. My feelings for her have come back. I was planning on telling her how I feel and see if she felt the same but with her current emotional state and what happened last week I don't know if that's the best idea right now.

So my question is: Should I tell her how I feel right now or wait until she is more emotionally stable? I'm kind of leaning towards telling her now because if I wait and she keeps leaning on me when she needs to talk or she wants to hang out I might end up in the friend zone. I'm not sure what to do though.

[carl1222]

She's barely got a grip on her sanity and you want to know what's the best time to make a move??? Sorry, but it does come across as a bit selfish. You have no obligation to befriend her in her time of need ... but if that's what you choose, then BE A FRIEND.

The last thing she needs right now is a new relationship. Even if she responds to your feelings, you would definitely be her rebound ... a very unstable relationship at best. Take the risk of ending up in her friendzone and save the romantic advances for a time when she no longer needs your support.

Carl.

[IndiReloaded]

Carl is correct (hey Carl, welcome back!).

Everything else you might want to know is here. Read and learn:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/26633-description-shining-knight-syndrome.html[/url]

[valhensing]

wait until she is emotionally stable of course! Are you in your right mind??

[confused_guy]

After reading that question again I kinda wanna kick my own ass.

But believe me though I've thought about this long and hard and I've already considered everything you've said. I just wanted an outside opinion. I know all about the Knight In shining Armor syndrome and that's not what my intentions are. I've had friends try that out and I know it never works. I don't want a mess that I have to clean up and I'm not looking to be a rebound either. We have stayed friends since we broke up a few years ago so I wouldn't feel right abandoning her now and cutting off/limiting contact though. Plus we see each other damn near every day.

I guess the biggest thing that was making me unsure is that when we are together we have a good time. She's not depressed or anything. We laugh. We go out and have a few drinks. We talk about all kinds of things. In general we have fun. It's only when she ends up talking to her bf/ex-bf that she has problems. I really care about her and I don't want to do anything that's gonna add extra stress to her current situation though. Her birthday just passed this weekend so I think I'll give her the gift I bought her and the card that basically says I've enjoyed spending time with her these past few months and that she's an amazing person and leave it at that. That's all pretty benign if I don't elaborate and don't go into detail. Hell, she may even need to hear that from a FRIEND right now.

[IndiReloaded]

However you want to justify it. Shrug.

You aren't friends tho. Don't delude yourself. The fact you are exes once already should make this even more obvious.