super young subway girl

[dragoon]

There's this Subway (sandwich shop) that I frequent. A girl that works there really likes me, she's made it quite obvious. I flirt with her a bit whenever I go in, but I've never done anything. Mostly because all this time I was dating someone else. I'm not anymore. And I have to admit, she is really cute.

But... she's so young! She's at most 20. I wouldn't be surprised if she was 18. I know she's legal because she's a coillege student. Never in a million years did I think I'd go for someone so much younger than me (I'm 26).

But why not, right? Why should I hesitate? One date -- if she agrees -- what's the big deal? So why does it feel just a little weird? Something tells me dating someone that young is just wrong. Who do I listen to?

[squirrley]

your own self. If youre out looking for a serious thing-Id probably stay away-shes young and probably wanting to date around...if youre out to just to play-then why not?

Hey Dragoon the next time youre in there-ask her to cut your bread in the "U-gauge" see if she knows what it is? I managed 3 Subways years ago-(hell) and in the last few years they changed the style of their cutting-went to deli style(sucks too)...

[dragoon]

Yeah. In truth I am looking for something serious (not from her, in general). And so this is probably a bad idea. I wonder if I can just let myself enjoy a date or two and not get too caught up in it.

[dragoon]

Oh, and I always hated that U cut The stuff never stayed in the sandwich.

[squirrley]

hmmm...well caution here...red flags already. If you know that youre looking for something serious-I mean HOW serious-you mentioned previously you were (i think) ready to settle down right? Well-damn this is tough...why are presenting such difficult things here?(lol) ok-say you do go out a couple of times...what IF you really like to start to fall this Subway gal? Then what? Shes 18-20-you know most females at that age arent ready for something like that-BUT she might be an exception to the case-I dont know-you just never know right? I mean you might find it in the least expected places...my initial thought was to stay away-but hell-lifes too short-it wouldnt hurt to ask her out-shes interested why not? You'll know anyway Dragoon within a couple of dates if you want to pursue this with her...

[dragoon]

Yeah, at the back of my brain those are the same red flags I'm seeing. But I wonder if I really can keep it casual. Not commit to her, just have fun. As mean as this is about to sound, sort of fill the time. Blah, I don't really see it that way. As long as I know not to expect anything, why not? It's not like Mrs. Dragoon is banging down my door right now.

And then like you said, who knows? If I did fall for her, maybe she'd fall for me. But I guess the real problem is I know that if I liked her, I'd fall for her. And probably end up screwed.

I guess I'm also wondering do people typically look this far beyond a first date to decide whether to even take that first date?

[Breezy18]

I agree with Squirrley. Life's too short. Have fun for crying out loud. You never know until you give it a shot. And if she IS 20, 6 years isn't THAT much of a difference. My girlfriend is living with a guy 13, (yes THIRTEEN) years younger than her and they are happy as could be. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but what have you got to lose? Better to do something then to sit around wondering, what if?, right?

[squirrley]

when youre in your mind set that you are-knowing that you want to settle down-ANY and EVERY woman you WILL look at as a potential Mrs. Dragoon...so-you have options-you can pick and choose...

IF you think that you could really like this girl and fully are aware of it-in falling for her and sort-and somewhere in your mind youre thinking that you might not continue it because you already know you just want to have fun-and you might get burned...then WHY? Try and figure out what it is you want with her FIRST. If you want to just go and have fun and nothing serious Dragoon theres no harm as long as shes aware of your intentions, that youre not looking for a serious relationship-(which you know you are-but youre not with her YET) geezuz this is complicated. Why is this one so complicated for me to explain what Im saying here....

Ok ask her out. Keep things simple. Dont look to the third date yet-only look to the first...see how you feel at that point-you just dont know til you try.

[dragoon]

when youre in your mind set that you are-knowing that you want to settle down-ANY and EVERY woman you WILL look at as a potential Mrs. Dragoon...so-you have options-you can pick and choose...

I don't know if I agree with that. My most recent thing, yes, I saw Mrs. Dragoon written all over her. But I look at/think of this girl and I just don't see that at all. But maybe after a date or two I would.

But it's not like she's an innocent bystander in all this. She will have her input. If she makes it clear she's just dating, I would be ok with that.

I think I will go for it. I'm pretty sure she works weekends, so I'll hopefully do it this weekend.

[squirrley]

I only say that because my brother happens to do that(he admits it too)-looks at every woman he dates as a potential partner-hes so wanting to settle down. So didnt mean to mislead you...

but yea go for it!

[Breezy18]

That's sweeeeeeeet Dragoon! Good luck!!

[SpaZz]

I think I will go for it. I'm pretty sure she works weekends, so I'll hopefully do it this weekend.

Amen to that. U can't tell a book by it cover. So yeah go read the first few pages. C what happens

[Bonovox40]

I'm going through the same things right now. I'm 26, she's a young 18. Yes, there are red flags just for the age category if anything! But, i'm taking my time and enjoying myself but not letting myself get carried away. Sure, I love her and have feelings but i'm not letting myself get in any position I can't walk away from if something isn't right. She's actually wanting marriage more than I do at the moment, but it's slightly foolish to get married so early in a relationship when a foundation needs to be built first.


Give it a shot and remember: She doesn't control you, she never has. You're in charge of your own life and choices so keep being a man and get out there and enjoy your life! Every choice you make is a risk. Even not making a choice is a risk! Give it a chance. It's up to you to decide if there's a point where things don't feel right or toxic to you. If so, walk. But maybe things will be great with her. Who knows? Maybe she'll be someone in this stage of your life, maybe something more. But either way, YOU are in charge of where you'd like it to proceed.

The only thing you have to lose is time, and the experience you'll gain, good or bad, is a valuable tradeoff.

[manderbug]

It all depends on maturity. Some people are mature at a young age, while others definitely are not. It also depends on your level of tolerance and what you want from this 'relationship'. If it's purely lustful, it doesn't really matter except her feelings may be hurt.

[sfalexi]

My most recent thing, yes, I saw Mrs. Dragoon written all over her. But I look at/think of this girl and I just don't see that at all. But maybe after a date or two I would.

I would hope it'll be a few more than one or two dates before this is written all over her! (I hope that was just a figure of speech you used)

I say go out with her. And on one of the first dates, ask her what she's looking for as a dater. Is she looking for a short term thing (want to enjoy her youth)? Is she dating to hopefully find that one person worthy of a long term relationship? Ask her what her status is. Simplest way to find out, right?

Alexi