Pre nups?

[anya_may21]

I was wondering do people in the USA believe in getting pre nups more-so than other countries?

I would sign a pre nup after having the family lawyer look it over but I wouldn't initiate having one.

[Exeter19]

if you have a lot of money and don't want it taken from you in a divorce or been married a few times, then yes, but if you equally don't have much and you go into the marriage trusting this is your partner for life then no, imo. i don't think about prenups at all when it comes to marriage, foolish or not.

[anya_may21]

Rich men, and women definitely need one. I'm no where rich and I don't think any man I marry would be wealthy either.

[anya_may21]

Pro: The most common reason couples fight is because of finances. Getting it all out on the table up front will help with discussing financial matters down the road.

Con: If both parties are young and are just starting out with relatively equal contributions, then it does not seem to make sense to have a prenup signed. It erodes trust immediately and can leave one feeling suspicious as to the motives of the other.

Pro: Spending habits need to be considered. If one person spends irresponsibly and the other person is frugal/responsible then in order to be fair in the event of a death or divorce the one who saved should not be penalized twice.


Con: Fool-proof crystal balls are in short supply these days. It's hard to anticipate every change in circumstance that might occur between the time a prenup agreement is written and when the marriage falls apart. What seems reasonable now might be ridiculously unfair to one of the spouses 10-20 years later.

[lalalita]

Prenups only protect assets personally owned before entering the marriage, so it really only makes sense if one or two of you are both financially well off.

[anya_may21]

This forum won't let me post links or even post enough words to complete my pro and cons list.

This is frustrating, should be able to do one of the other.

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If a richie rich wanted to marry me and he worried I only wanted him for his money and not out of love I could see why I'd be ask to sign a prenup and I would sign it, not feeling hurt he asked me, but if both of us are poor, I would feel hurt he asked.

[anya_may21]

P: When children are involved, prenups are increasingly important. Children should be a priority so that they are taken care of in the event of a divorce or death.


C: Proponents argue that having a prenup prevents costly litigation at the time of the divorce. But the divorce lawyer for the less affluent spouse almost always tries to have the agreement set aside if its terms are too lopsided where's the cost savings?

P: It's easier to come to an agreement when a couple is getting along vs during a bitter disagreement; everyone would be better off to discuss the difficult topics upfront.


C: The one asking for a prenup is demonstrating a lack of faith, both in the relationship, integrity & fairness of the partner. Asking says, I'm not sure our relationship will work out in the long run & I need to protect myself from your greed & over-reaching. It's rare for a person wanting a prenup to act solely to protect the interests of their spouse-to-be.

[Exeter19]

P: It's easier to come to an agreement when a couple is getting along vs during a bitter disagreement; everyone would be better off to discuss the difficult topics upfront.


C: The one asking for a prenup is demonstrating a lack of faith, both in the relationship, integrity & fairness of the partner. Asking says, I'm not sure our relationship will work out in the long run & I need to protect myself from your greed & over-reaching. It's rare for a person wanting a prenup to act solely to protect the interests of their spouse-to-be.

i agree with this point!

[dontaskme]

If you have enough assets prior to marriage that you want to protect in case of divorce, YES, definitely need a pre-nup. It's a no brainer.

[anya_may21]

P: Many people have families & even children coming into a marriage. Prenups aren't just about protecting your assets in the case of divorce, they are about allocating them in the event of death.

C: Neg. a prenup that anticipates divorce is not romantic. It's a business transaction & virtually always involves an imbalance of power in favor of the person demanding an agreement. There's a hint of coercion. Sign the prenup or the marriage is off. Lovely way to start a honeymoon. Makes you wonder whether this is truly a relationship between equals. Under these circumstances, the answer is obvious.

P: Put your money where your mouth is. People in love say they are each others best friend & they can talk about anything. A discussion about a prenup is an opportunity to do that. If you are hesitant, then this is the time to work it out.



I give up trying to post this info- the limits bite.

[smackie9]

A prenup is to protect both parties. It saves confusion, and going to courts while having all the money go to the lawyers.

Marriage is contract, it has very little to do with romance, the wedding is for the romance. Prenups is taking responsibility, to ensure both get their fair share of the assets, what needs to be sold, etc. Pre planning doesn't mean impending doom. It's no different than buying car/house/life insurance. You may never get injured in a car accident, but you still have insurance just in case....same as a prenup.

It's just being smart.