What's she thinking?

[jordan777]

I saw my ex yesterday after about a year. We have spoken every few months and have been friendly towards each other since breaking up. She knows I still love her and I know she still has feelings for me as she said a few things on facebook just a couple days before (indirectly though) and throughout the year. We would be together if it were not for circumstances which may change in the future and she has said she would like to meet up at some point in the future for a proper talk, just not now.
The thing is, when I saw her we smiled and said hi but that's it!!! She turned away and didn't speak to me dispite me standing behind her in a shop for about 3 mins. I would have thought at least a "how you doing"! but she then just left. Any adive as to why she didn't speak to me as I'm baffled, we didn't end on bad terms!.
Thanks

[oldskool83]

cuz she wants nothing to do with you, move on lover boy, you not in love either your just codepent

[adamh1]

cuz she wants nothing to do with you, move on lover boy, you not in love either your just codepent

Sorry but that was terrible advice! (Just my opinion though)
How can you assume either of them are not in love and instead it falls on codependency? That crystal balls really working for you?


Jordan - I wouldn't read too much into it. My advice, if you guys are friendly and talking every now and then that's great. But as long as you see it as "friends" and not as something else.
Move on with your life until such a point as you both are ready for this. Don't put your life on hold waiting for it though.

If she didn't really speak to you it could mean a number of things. You will never know unless she tells you.

She could have been startled to see you and genuinely didn't know what to say. She may have realized she has strong feelings for you and didn't know how to act. Or she may have realised that there really is nothing there any more and she just wanted to get away from you.

I wouldn't ponder over what it means. Just get on with things and see how the future pans out.

[oldskool83]

if your broke up a year and still inlove, its not love. she didnt speak cuz it was awquard and she prob has no clue what to really say in person. talking on facebook in impersonal and way easier. bad advice or not, if she wsa really loving in or somthing she would of said somthing, thing is she didnt. i wouldnt wait around but might as well keep friendly contact with her in case by chance yous can be togther.

[jordan777]

Thanks for the replys. I try and get on with my life but it's hard to find someone else especially since I KNOW she still has feelings. Before I thought she didn;t but she's said and done too much for me to doubt this. If she has no feelings towards me she wouldn't bother doing half the things she has done and just got on with her life.
oldskool, of course it can still be love, unfortunatly not everone who fall in love can be together, now anyway as life can be shit like that and make being together harder than it should be. I don't doubt we'll speak in the future about things but what might not make it so simple then is I may have a new partner and moved on. I posted on this site as I just couldn't inderstand how 2 people who have no bad feelings towards each other would not even ask how they are doing which is why I thought I'd aska woman!

[adamh1]

Although a little backwards oldskool's last point was on the mark in certain areas. Although "if your broke up a year and still inlove, its not love" is bullsh*t.

This is not necessarily what you should do, I'm just stipulating what I would do in your position.
If this was me, and I still felt strongly for her and believed it was reciprocated. I would take one last shot at it. Talk to her openly (In person) and lay it out.
From there she can give you a black and white yes or no. At least you will have closure on where you stand then. From there, if she says yes, great! Work on it and see where it takes you.

If she says no, let go, drop the contact for a while and get back out into the world! Sure it might feel sh*tty for a while but at least you can say you tried.

[jordan777]

I totally agree and I will do it. Everytime ive pulled away in the past she gets scared and is a lot more responsive and scared to loose me. I will have a final talk/message the reseaon I haven't yet is I'm a pro boxer and have a title fight coming up which I need to focus on and don't want emotional troubles as fighting comes first. It's funny I get punched by tough hard guys ad they never rock me but a woman!!!! Can really muck me up lol

[oldskool83]

i dont understand why you cant be together, are you telling us the full story?

[jordan777]

It's a long story but to make it short she had a child when I met her but broke up with the guy we dated we got jealous and made her life hell I got pissed off and ended with her and they got back together. Not long after she said she made a mistake and wanted me back. She's not a very emotionally strong woman and feels bad on the daughter which I understand. She also has to give him $400000 to leave as they own a house. The thing is she's always putting up sad quotes and quotes of love which relate to me on facebook. I know it's easier to just forget her and I get a lot of offers fr other women but I feel bad leaving her. I know it may sound stupid but it's the cards I've been dealt. She knows I'm always there which is enough for her to continue living this life which is why I know when I do leave she'll be forced to do something, I'm just not ready yet as I got to focus on my fight.

[adamh1]

Mate is sounds like a complicated situation.

I can't really advise you on what to do, no one can.
The only thing we can do is offer up every scenario so you can see your options.


From what you have said though it seems like the relationship(s) are very intertwined.
The question you need to answer yourself is, "If we got back together, will it get easier or will the same problems keep cropping up"? Your gut will tell you the rest, trust it!


Sometimes although we think and perceive that a "person" will make us happy and we want them. The "relationship" and cr&p that comes with them ultimately make us unhappy. We often try and kid ourselves into thinking that the person is worth the cr&p, sometimes they are - But more often than not they are not and we just hold on to "what could be".

[jordan777]

Yeah, it's complicated which is why I just channel my energy on fighting, just every now and then she pops up. I know what you mean, part of me feels it will be a happy ending and part thinks it's just too much. If the oppertunity arises that I can get back with her I got to take it as I'll always woner what if! But if it doesn't I'll have to cut all communication and move on cos when I'm reminded of her I can't do it. Thanks for the answer bro