One girl stands out to me, but don't know how I should approach and start something

[Cobra212]

Well it's my first time on the site, and it looks like a good community, so maybe you guys and gals can help

Me and a few other friends signed up for confirmation classes. Our class is rather small, only about 15 or so. Most of the people in the classes know each other, and we have completed 3 classes so far (we go every tuesdays from 7:15 to 8:45).

However, there is one girl that stood out to me. She seems rather shy and I don't think she knows anybody in the classes. She really looks like one of the quiet types.

When I sit I usually sit right in front/across of her (we sit on one of those long cafeteria benches during the classes), so we're right next to each other. I must admit, she is pretty cute lol. I would like to make friends and start talking to her. The problem is, I really do not know what to say. She smiles once in a while but for the most part just looks... well a kind of sad/tired/lonely look on her face. Yea, it's hard to explain...

I already know her name due to the teacher calling it out the names and such.

Really what I guess it is I am asking is what should I say to try and get something going?

I was thinking maybe just saying something as "(INsert name here) right?" Hey you ok, you look tired. Im so-and-so... then hopefully take it from there if she looks willing to continue talking. Asking her age, if she goes to church around the area, about the confirmation classes thus far, etc...

I am rather shy lol, well until I get to know somebody. It seems that making small talk to meet somebody is where I always screw up, as I don't really know what to say...

Help

And thanks in advance.

[Mathias]

Just say hi, and start a conversation with her.

If she's lonely/upset/depressed, let HER bring it up. You don't want your first conversation to be intruding into her life.

[Cobra212]

I mean yea im not gonna say

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

More of what I had in mind was just saying "_insert name_ tired?,cheer up a bit!" Then take it from there. Something along those lines if you get what I mean.

What I really want to avoid is just going up to her and saying Hi!...

[Mathias]

I mean yea im not gonna say

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

More of what I had in mind was just saying "_insert name_ tired?,cheer up a bit!"

NO.

DO NOT DO THIS.

Seriously, you DON'T want her first impression of you to be prying into her life. That's exactly what this does.

Say hi. She won't bite.

I said hi to a girl about 15 minutes ago here at the coffee shop. Her boyfriend immediately showed up. She didn't bite, though.

[Cobra212]

NO.

DO NOT DO THIS.

Seriously, you DON'T want her first impression of you to be prying into her life. That's exactly what this does.

Say hi. She won't bite.

I said hi to a girl about 15 minutes ago here at the coffee shop. Her boyfriend immediately showed up. She didn't bite, though.

Yea I see what you're saying. Now that I think of it, it's a bad idea...

But I really do not want to say Hi! Since where I live doing something like that just... isn't what you would do. Just walking up to her and saying that makes you look kind of stupid. But I guess it's worth a shot. Any other ideas and suggestions on what I should say?

[Mathias]

But I really do not want to say Hi! Since where I live doing something like that just... isn't what you would do. Just walking up to her and saying that makes you look kind of stupid. But I guess it's worth a shot. Any other ideas and suggestions on what I should say?

You could always do my trick from when I was a teenager (honestly, I'm wondering if this is going to work now that I'm 24). Let her catch you looking at her, smile sheepishly like you know you've been caught. Don't break eye contact, just mouth "hi". If she's interested, she'll give you a huge smile back, and the ice is broken.

[jurupa]

If you really dont want to say hi then say hey then. It sovles your problem.



But seriously, what is wrong with saying hi. The chances of this girl thinking you look stuipid is very low. She will more than likey say hi back and you can start to chit chat with her. Heck I rather look stupid than not talking to a girl I am interested in.

[tournesol]

well you can always catch up with her after class. you know like she gets up to leave so you get up as well and tell her to hold up or something and then shell look back and there you are! so then you say hi and introduce yourself or whatever and just chit chat with her until you have to part ways. but never everrrrrrr mention that she looks tired, sad, ect. everrrrrrr!!!! but like metioned above it never hurts to say hi and i doubt shell bitch smack you or something just for that.

or like j_r_l said invite her to smoke some crack with you.

or you can do nothing and just live with what ifs and should haves the rest of your life.

so say hi or yerp (which ever is more appropriate).

:]

[Cobra212]

It's hard to get good help these days, but so far the replies have been great, so thanks.

And yea, if I do talk to her it would be after class, or if I see her sitting around before class while everybody is gathering in the lobby.

But like I said, I always screw up when "trying to break the ice". Though usually after I do that it's smooth sailing.

Also I might just be acting to negative and thinking about all the bad outcomes lol.

I mean I am worried about her not being much of a takler or something. Like how would the conversation go? Should I even mention her name when I say high or play stupid to find it out?

Me: Hi
Her: Hi
Me: ...

Then what? See what I mean?

Thanks for the adivce so far.

[Mathias]

You: Hi.
Her: Hey stud!
You: So, class today was boring...I mean, we keep talking about the Eucharist over and over again...
Her: Oh my God, I know!

Conversation continues.

[tournesol]

okay i think you should mention her name when you said hi because then that gives her a hint that you have noticed her in a way, you know what i mean?
as far as the breaking the ice after saying hi im not really sure what to tell you but you could probably bring up soemthing about the class itself, like:
you:hi blahblah
her: hi
you: so the class what blablahbaljflsdfjsd
her: yeah
...
and so on.
and then maybe get into more things like how old she is and what school she goes to and hobbies and blahblahblah! and then as you least expect it you are asking her out. i mean this isnt all going to happen in one conversation but gradually youll advance i suppose.

just get the courage to say hi and you can even compliment her on her beauty or something as your relationship grows.

[tournesol]

yeah mathias has it down.

[sudheer]

You seem too nice to actually take any solid action, so you better build your move slow and over time.

Study well.. be a good boy in the classs and build an image. Be good and nice.. At the same time let her know that you are interested in her by smiles and casual talks in the class when it is natural to do so.

Try to sit next to her 3-4 classes later and strike up a conversation... Sit there again for the next classes and when you are more confident and comfortable, invite her out and take on by your own...

[vashti]

Haha - you guys are so funny!

Just say hi, how do you like the class, what school do you go to, how long ago did you move to the neighborhood, etc.

The smoking crack thing might be funny for a confident kind of guy to say, but if you are shy at all, be careful.

And oh, yeah - when you say to a girl "you look tired", they hear "you look like sh*t". Don't do it.

[Cobra212]

That smoking crack suggestion is looking awfuly good right now

Seriously, I think i'll just say hi, or give a shot at mathias' suggestion and see what happens if we make eye contact and I smile or some crap like that...