To leave, or not to leave?

[SMUG]

Ok, this is my problem. This is what the board is here for.
Long story long
I've been with this guy for about 4 years now. We moved in together after going out about 6 months. We also have a 6 month old baby together. I have come to terms with the fact that I don't love him anymore, and let me tell you why. I am resentful toward him because early in our relationship he became very controlling (yeah, my fault for sticking around-he was supposed to make it worth my while) and over the years has been manipulative, dishonest, and outright mean at times. At this time, he is being very loving, and considerate. I can tell he's making an effort to please me, but all of that resentment I have is much bigger than anything he can possibly do at this point. Plus there's other stuff I know he just can't change. I hate the way he treats other people (he's constantly putting EVERYONE down), I hate the way he takes credit for others' ideas or work, and he's a total pig. I can honestly say he does nothing to make my life better. Did I mention that he hasn't worked a day in 6 months? He has worked piss ant jobs since I've known him. The longest job he had lasted 8 months. I feel like I can't depend on him for anything and it's really unfair that he gets to spend all day with our baby. Did I mention that he does NOTHING around our apartment while he's home all day? His excuse is that taking care of a baby is a full time job and there's no time for anything else. Funny, WOMEN do it every day! I am expected to work all day, come home and take the baby off his hands, cook a meal, clean up after 3 people & 2 animals, give him a rubdown and listen to how hard HIS day was (and what was on Oprah) and finish off the night with some hot monkey love, because I haven't done enough already. I get the bills, I make the arrangements for doctor's appointments, I plan & fix the meals. I do EVERYTHING. I've tried asking him to do some meager chores, and that he do them within an agreeable time frame (how hard is it to take out the trash?) and every time I ended up having to do it myself. I really feel like I got the raw end of the deal, but he thinks he got the raw end because he's cooped up all day with no one to talk to. I'm not the one keeping him from getting a job. He doesn't want to help himself. He throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way and makes promises I really don't think he can keep. He has nothing of his own and he has nowhere to go. That's why I haven't kicked him out so far. Bottom line is he's brought me more hardship than joy. I just don't know if my misery is worth breaking up my baby's home. I am the oldest 21 year old I know. The age old question remains, do I stay in it for the kid?

Beat it to hell dump board!

[jane]

ok here goes...
I sort of scanned what you wrote ... there was one word that all you have to is say and explains the rest. "resentful"

If you have any resentment to him, you relationship is doomed if you don't seek professional help. If you really want it to be over, and I believe you do, then this is a perfect time. your baby is young enough that this will not effect "it" as much as it would when the baby was older like 5 or 6.

He needs to get a job. I am not saying that a stay home man can't do the work, but they have to be at least willing to try. He doesn't seem to care.
He sounds like he needs to grow up. Temper tantrums? Thats what kids do. I would tell you to go to counsleing but it really sounds like you have made up your mind. You can try and tell him that he needs to get a job or get out but this doesn't always make things better.
If it were me, I would tell him to leave. I would put my child in daycare, which sucks, but I would do it to make me happier and the babys future better. This is only my opinion. First and foremost , you need to decide what is important to you. If your quality of life is as bad as you say maybe it's time to consider your options. Good Luck!