confused.. help?

[wishfulheart]

i have been with my boyfriend for just about 10 months. we've broken up a couple times but it's only lasted a week or two at the most each time. about 4 months ago i told him i loved him, and he never said it back. but now, he's saying that we are "meant to be", but yet he doesn't love me. also, he keeps me hidden from everyone else in his life. the last time we broke up his best friend didn't even know we were back together for about a month, he just doesn't talk about it. he says he doesn't like to "show it off". i feel like he is ashamed to be with me, even though he assures me that he's not. i also do not understand how we can be "meant to be" if he doesn't even love me?

can someone please give me any thoughts/ideas?

[Gigabitch]

Run, Lola. Run. Your boyfriend gets a C- in relationship class.

[vashti]

I think a C- is very generous.

[Gigabitch]

I think a C- is very generous.

Y'know what? You're right. I was in a generous mood when I posted that. Then I got into that "perfect sex" thread, and I got all cranky. Now I think she should bury him on the beach up to his neck at low tide.

[damoclesjones]

It reminds me of my brother. He had a similar situation with his current wife. He never told her he loved her, and always treated her like, as you say, he didn't want to "show her off". His wedding he made as private as possible - almost secret. He told me he didn't feel anything emotionally strong for her. It seemed he thought they were right in a practical way. She has her faults too - she doesn't listen to him.

Regardless of all that though, just thinking about what you've said, I think you should say to your man; "isnt it the truth that it would be very convenient for you to spend your life with me in a practical way, because we are basically compatible. However, you don't, in your private heart, really love me - do you?"

If he is man, he will be direct with you - and, I would guess, say "no". And if you are a woman, you will be straight back - and, I would hope, say "goodbye".

Of course some men are afraid to say "I love you" - and, although you can't stand that kind of appalling fear either, it's something you can do something about.