Can ex's stay friends?

[tanner]

I am getting out of a LTR and we are discussing being friends. I am wondering what the reality of this is? I'd like to hear from people who tried successfully and unsuccessfully to be friends.

Is this a realistic goal or are we just trying to avoid the pain of letting go?

[gedquin]

i think its hard to but im sure that u can, its beta to keep a freind than make an enemt

[Uni]

Well, I can tell you my experience.
When I left my boyfriend we promised each other we would be friends... After some weeks he was saying bad things about me, probably without meaning them, but he told me he couldn't be my friend and so couldn't I.

I guess the thing here is: strong friendship remains as long as one of the two is still emotionally involved and has hopes. Otherwise, as all of that ends, there's no longer be any friendship. That's my opinion of course. And of course you can try and succeed in it!

[zombie08]

It doesn't work. I dated someone for two years and first he hated me and we couldn't be friends, then we were "best friends" for a few months, while he was in another relationship (but having relationship issues) I think he realized being friends with me hurt his relationship with his new gf and he hasn't talked to me in 8 months or something like that. I believe the only reason we were so close in the first place is we weren't over each other and he was thinking of leaving his gf. Now I can't really figure out why he refuses to talk to me, I am thinking he realizes he will never be "over" me and will continue to go to me when something goes wrong with his current relationship (not sexually, just as a friend) and his gf gets INSANELY jealous or that he will never be over me if we remained friends.

It just doesn't work. The only ex that is still my friend is one that I only dated for a month, barely saw, and didn't get too involved with. And we are currently not speaking because he has a problem with wanting to hook up with me even though its been like 4 years since we dated and he has a kid now. So I guess friendships can just never, ever work.

[Only-virgins]

They can but shouldn't hang around. If I met a girl and started dating I would be annoyed to see her ex around.

[dchaos0]

I am kind of in the same boat as you.I was with my girlfriend for 5 years and we broke up and she is saying we can still be friends.I am trying to stay friends with her but its really hard it can work......but in the long run i dont think i can stay her friend.With being with her for so long and then seeing her with someone else is hard.I want to stay her friend......but i cant.Only thing i can tell you is try and stay friends and if it dosent work maybe just go your own ways

[Gigabitch]

Friends don't ****. If you're absolutely sure that neither one of you could ever possibly be attracted to one another again, then you can be friends. Then again, if two people really find one another that unattractive, there's probably not much a friendship there either.