girlfriend too close with male best friend?

[Fabsta]

I have been with my girlfriend for a little over 5 years now. 1 of her best friends is male, I have no problem with this. However he recently invited her to join him to his cousin's wedding. I see a wedding as the kind of social scene where 1 would take their partner, so I'm kind of offended she decided to go.

She says that this guy is like a brother and would never see him as anything else, however I don't know if his intentions are as innocent. He does have other female friends who are not in a relationship so I don't know why he doesnt ask someone else. Also our relationship is going through a bit of a rough patch so I don't think being so close with another guy is helping our relationship.

Has anyone else experienced this or am I being paranoid?

[Yggdrasil]

Hard to tell.

You could be on to something, or it could be harmless.

You'll have to ask her and take her answer word value while keeping a keen eye on her body language.

Keep an eye open for red flags, but don't be obsessive about it.

You also said your relation is going through a rough patch. What have you both done to work on the issues?

Usualy I suggest couple or marriage counseling (no it's not an evil thing to go counseling) if both partners are willing to work on their relation. Couple counceling is intended to strenghten the couple, not to break it appart.

You learn usefull relation skills during counseling, such as listening, understanding body language, healthy conflict solving, setting healthy boundaries, etc...

You may want to consider asking her if she is still strongly interested in working out the problems by saying something like: "sweetie, I know we're going through a rough patch now, but I have done some thinking, and I want you to know that I love you and am willing to work on the problems between us, to improve my relation skills and to have a stronger, more fullfilling, healthier and deeper relation with you, even if that requires professional help from a couple counselor."

That's a strong and important message you'd bring there, and if she still loves you and wants to have the same with you, she'll say yes.

Remember though that you cannot force someone into a relation they don't want to be.

[Gigabitch]

I agree that a wedding is a "date event". I would be unhappy about that too.

[Fabsta]

thanks for the replies. I had suggested counselling, she was open to the idea at first, though now is not comfortable with the idea of bearing her soul with a stranger.

We are in our mid 20's, and although we had previously set specific goals for our relationship, she is now feeling very confused about what she wants to do with her life.

[Yggdrasil]

thanks for the replies. I had suggested counselling, she was open to the idea at first, though now is not comfortable with the idea of bearing her soul with a stranger.

We are in our mid 20's, and although we had previously set specific goals for our relationship, she is now feeling very confused about what she wants to do with her life.

Fear of counseling comes from the unknown. People seem to have those weird ideas about counseling, such as electro shocks, waterboarding, etc... truth is: counseling is a very relaxed thing to do. You simply learn new things, about yourself, about your partner, how you can improve yourself. Nobody is forces or changes anybody. It's all about AWARENESS.