How do I handle this?

[kristen]

My husband is a little obnoxious. I don't mean this in a bad way, it's just more of a "wanting to be noticed" thing with him. He works at a franchise store. So when we go into any other franchise that he does not work at, he has to make a point of telling them he works at the other location. He will then make a joke about why their store doesn't have this or why aren't they doing it that way. The other day was his birthday and he had to tell everyone we encountered that day.

It's getting to the point of embarrasment and I don't know how to handle it. I think he wants to look "cool" (he's 32) but to me, he doesn't. I know that I will really hurt his feelings if I talk to him directly about it. He will then get mad at me and he will bring it up every day for the next year. He's a little immature.... Any help would be appreciated!

[vashti]

You could always try praising people who are more humble, or say something like... "i love the strong and silent type... they are so masculine!"

But honestly, I doubt he will get it.

You should probably just tell him what you think.

[Bumble_bee]

tell him he is being obnoxious. if that doesn't work.....tell him that he doesn't need to prove himself to every tom dick and jane, and that you think he is kool, when he isn't trying too hard. or basically what Vashti said..

[Sanctuary]

Sounds like he was/is insecure about himself.

Tell him the truth - that most people hate listening to braggers and tend to get turned off by it even though they might not tell you.

Remember, you're just trying to help him (though secretly it's because you don't want to be embarassed anymore - shhhh it's a secret!).

[ImADude]

It is obvious he is saying these things for attention, perhaps because he just likes to be social, or maybe he is just proud of the franchise he works at. No matter what his intents are, it seems he does not realize that his actions are socially inappropriate. You should tell him the truth, but you must be very careful in how you tell him. We men have ego's we like to maintain, and if someone tells us flat out that we are in the wrong, it is unlikely we will change our behavior to suit the person who told us. We don't like to make behavioral changes because someone tells us we should, we want to make those changes for ourselves.

When you tell him (or suggest), you must do it carefully so that you are not criticizing him, as I'm sure you don't want to hurt his feelings. Perhaps you can just gently suggest to him that you aren't so sure that stores like to hear about their competitors. Be careful in telling him that you are embarrassed by his actions, when we are told that we are embarrassing, we are likely to get defensive about it.

Another way to go about this is through simple behavioral modification. Whenever you are out with him and he does something embarrassing like this, take distance from him (maybe 10 feet?) until the behavior is over. Then return to his side. He will eventually realize that his negative behavior (saying inappropriate things) is causing your negative response (standing away from him). He will likely subconsciously realize this and gradually eliminate the behavior.

[Gigabitch]

The best way to deal with this is try to make it about him protecting you. Tell him you are more shy than he is and you don't like all the extra attention. Ask him to stop in such a way that he understands that it's him being a good husband, not the loudmouth schmuck we all know him to be.

What a pain in the ass, Kristen.