Low Libido

[MishkaLe'Ace]

I am 21 years old and I have a terribly low libido. I became sexually active at 16, I had a bf who would fool around with me. When I turned 17 I had sexual intercourse. For the first 6 months or so I had a nice high libido, but after that it dropped dramtically.

I am, and have been since then, only interested in sex maybe once a month. My body responds to physical stimulations and yet my mind is not in it. It has been causing some SERIOUS problems.
I can get into the mood when I buy sexy lingerie, and sometimes after reading a sexy, kinky book, but that is about it.
What can I do to boost my libido?

[starbuck]

Are you on any medications that might be hindering your libido? Decrease in sex drive is a side effect of many common prescription drugs, like anti-depressants.

[Tone]

Are you still w/ the same guy and have only had sex w/ him?

[MishkaLe'Ace]

I am on no medication. I am a pretty content person, average.
I have been with 2 other guys. They please my and I orgasm...my body responds. I simply never get into the mood.

[shh!]

What about birth control pills?

[MishkaLe'Ace]

I have been off and on them the past 3 years.
I started with pills, then got the depo. shot. I skipped for 10 months, then had a ton of medical issues. I started taking YAZ for a few months, but ran out of money, lol.
It does not seem to make a difference what BC I am taking or if I am taking it at all.

[misombra]

maybe sex just isn't something your body wants to do right now.

[shh!]

Birth control pills have an adverse effect on lots of women's libido, and the effects can last for up to a year after you go off of them. I don't know if that is your problem, but it is certainly a possibility.

Are you sleeping with the same guy or do you not have a steady one?

[MishkaLe'Ace]

My body responds though. My nipples get hard when touched. I get wet when fingered instantly, but my mind is totally not interested. So, I don't think it is my body exactly...
I love this guy. I have had a total of 2 boyfriends that I have had sex with and had the same problem with both of them.

I am not going to lie I had some sexual abuse as a child, but it really does not bother me anymore. Not at all. I never think about it anymore.

[MishkaLe'Ace]

I am steady with this guy and have been for about 3 and a half years now.

[shh!]

If your problem isn't physical (including the possibility you may simply have a lower-than-average testosterone level), then it must be emotional, my friend. Perhaps you should get some counseling?

[Mish]

I'm for the counseling idea as well. A sex therapist should be able to give you a more accurate response, without it your guess is as good as anyone elses.

Just to give an indication how complex this field is:

Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual pain disorders.

1. Sexual desire disorders or decreased libido can be caused by a decrease in normal estrogen (in women) or testosterone (in both men and women) production. Other causes may be aging, fatigue, pregnancy, medications (such as the SSRIs) or psychiatric conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Loss of libido from SSRIs usually reverses after SSRIs are discontinued, but in some cases it does not. This has been called PSSD; however, this is not a classification that would be found in any current medical text.
2. Sexual arousal disorders were previously known as frigidity in women and impotence in men, though these have now been replaced with less judgmental terms. Impotence is now known as erectile dysfunction, and frigidity has been replaced with a number of terms describing specific problems with, for example, desire or arousal.
For both men and women, these conditions can manifest as an aversion to, and avoidance of, sexual contact with a partner. In men, there may be partial or complete failure to attain or maintain an erection, or a lack of sexual excitement and pleasure in sexual activity.
There may be medical causes to these disorders, such as decreased blood flow or lack of vaginal lubrication. Chronic disease can also contribute, as well as the nature of the relationship between the partners. As the success of sildenafil (Viagra) attests, most erectile disorders in men are primarily physical, not psychological conditions.
3. Orgasm disorders are a persistent delay or absence of orgasm following a normal sexual excitement phase. The disorder can occur in both women and men. Again, the SSRI antidepressants are frequent culprits -- these can delay the achievement of orgasm or eliminate it entirely.
4. Sexual pain disorders affect women almost exclusively and are known as dyspareunia (painful intercourse) and vaginismus (an involuntary spasm of the muscles of the vaginal wall that interferes with intercourse). Dyspareunia may be caused by insufficient lubrication (vaginal dryness) in women.

[misombra]

i would say your number one problem is the guys you are sleeping with. you probably just don't have any strong emotional connection to them. sounds like you're just going with the flow and letting boys have their way with you.

i think you need to leave your vagina alone for a little while.

[MishkaLe'Ace]

I have considered seeing a sex therapist, but my doctor says I am normal. I call bs considering I NEVER want sex. My bf talks about how he has never had this issue before and how it has caused him to loose a lot of confidence.
He asks me for sex just about every night and day...it hurts that I never want it. When I talk to people about my problems I always seem to hear, "Get over it", "you just want attention", and of course, "You are lying". I cannot hear that ever again. Hell, even when I had my medical issues it took about 8 doctors and 10 ER visits to finally figure out what was wrong. All the others basically told me I was a hypochondriac. It dragged me down and I am afraid that will happen again.
I don't think it is the men I am with. I had one fling and that was even worse. I have real feelings for the man I am with and want to please him. I just cant bring myself to...

[shh!]

When your doctor says you are fine, what this means is assuming you have had your hormone levels checked, they are within the range of normal. Unfortunately, there is a very large range of what is normal, and you may be on the lower end.

Assuming there is nothing wrong with your hormones, then a therapist would be in order.