I really like this young lady

[street]

I am 40 and she is 38. we have been dating for 4 months off and on. I have feelings for her. I have been with alot of females. We hit it off from the get go. There is somethiong about her? we have recently broken up again and she is saying she doesn't want to get back to gether right now. I want to work things out. She says to many issues for such a sort time together. My jealousy and lateness. I did see her last night out after she text me to see where i was going. She said she would like to see me. I met up with her. I said this was not a good idea and I should leave she asked If I could stay awhile. I said I will have one beer. we talked she stayed by myside even though all her friends were there. She asked me to dance and kissed me on the check. i had my beer and left. She called me on the way home and we talked about our issues jealousy and her bieng a social butterfly. But she still says she does not want to get back together right now. I told her we shouldn't talk anymore then. it was to hard for me. I don't come accross many young ladies that I feel so comfortable with. I would like to work things out with her as I have told her. Don't know what to do now. Any help out there?

[carl1222]

I am 40 and she is 38. we have been dating for 4 months off and on. I have feelings for her. I have been with alot of females. We hit it off from the get go. There is somethiong about her? we have recently broken up again and she is saying she doesn't want to get back to gether right now. I want to work things out. She says too many issues for such a short time together. My jealousy and lateness. I did see her last night out after she text me to see where i was going. She said she would like to see me. I met up with her. I said this was not a good idea and I should leave she asked If I could stay awhile. I said I will have one beer. we talked she stayed by myside even though all her friends were there. She asked me to dance and kissed me on the check. i had my beer and left. She called me on the way home and we talked about our issues jealousy and her bieng a social butterfly. But she still says she does not want to get back together right now. I told her we shouldn't talk anymore then. it was too hard for me. I don't come accross many young ladies that I feel so comfortable with. I would like to work things out with her as I have told her. Don't know what to do now. Any help out there?

How about stop being a total dick?

Carl.

[street]

I guess u could say that. But I have been trying to get over her for a couple weeks now. I have asked her many tmes if we could work this out and she says she doesn't want to gat back together. She has been on my mind every day. My heart feels broken. Doesn't feel good to want to be with someone and they not feel the same way. so i ask why the invitation,kiss and dance??

[carl1222]

I guess u could say that. But I have been trying to get over her for a couple weeks now. I have asked her many tmes if we could work this out and she says she doesn't want to gat back together. She has been on my mind every day. My heart feels broken. Doesn't feel good to want to be with someone and they not feel the same way. so i ask why the invitation,kiss and dance??

OK, street, I'll stop picking on you for now. But your behavior that night alone is breakupworthy. Now, finally, when you feel the pain of losing her, you decide she is important enough to fight for. I suspect that you are far more used to being the heartbreaker than the heartbroken.

She likes you (that's "why the invitation,kiss and dance"), so you can probably get her back if:

1) You get over yourself (being with many women is not the same as being with the one woman you want).
2) You stop trying to control her social life (jealousy).
3) You keep your promises and be on time ... could you get away with being constantly late at work? I doubt it. Don't treat her with any less respect.
4) You stop being a petulant child when you don't get your own way (the one beer thing).

She sounds nice ... wouldn't you really rather be with a girl who won't take your s**t?

Carl.

[street]

Yes i would Carl. That is exacly why this young lady is what I think i need in my life. She takes no s**t from me.
I am for sure going to talk to someone about the jealousy issues. Never before Have I dated such a social lady. It cought me off gaurd. Use to girls chasing and doing every thing for me. She is not like that. I just hope I have not totally f**ked it up. She is now on match.com. Was i wrong to stop communication. Why would she not want to work on this with me?

Probably have more issues than that. I have a 24 year old that will not leave me alone.She is very attractive And i am scared i will do something bad. I would much rather be with Lisa. Lonelyness at this point is a bad thing for me right now. I am not ready to move on.

[carl1222]

Yes i would Carl. That is exacly why this young lady is what I think i need in my life. She takes no s**t from me.
I am for sure going to talk to someone about the jealousy issues. Never before Have I dated such a social lady. It cought me off gaurd. Use to girls chasing and doing every thing for me. She is not like that. I just hope I have not totally f**ked it up. She is now on match.com. Was i wrong to stop communication. Why would she not want to work on this with me?

You have to earn her trust again street, before she will be willing to try again. A display of humility could go a long way as could a genuine apology for your mistakes. Let her know that you really value her before it's too late.

Carl.

[street]

I think i need $100 an hour help!!

[carl1222]

I think i need $100 an hour help!!

Nahhh ... just a free attitude adjustment, street ... I hope I helped.

[street]

So Carl, You think it is a trust issue? I thought it was the jealousy issue and I don't know how to cure that by tomorrow. She said I remind her of her ex except for the cheeting part. thats not good..

[carl1222]

I think it IS a trust issue. Right now, she doesn't trust you to be as committed to an equal relationship as she is. The jealousy is just part of it as it drives you to try to control her behavior. As long as you come across as "take it or leave it" or "my way or the highway" a girl like her will have no use for you. Hey, you're 40 ... time to lay off the bimbos and go for a real woman.

Carl.

[street]

Hey Carl Thanks buddy. You give some good advice. I am not going to give in just yet. I hope all is well for you.

[street]

I shot her an email last night teeling her what an a** i have been and that i was sorry for my short comings.
I told her she could call anytime she wanted and that I hope she would.
She reply.

I self medicate when I can't sleep. Thanks for the sweet email. Xoxo I'm just trying to get the girls off to school. I will be in touch. But not in the immediate futuure. This is tough on both of us. For now its the best thing. Mwah! Big hugs too. And don't be so hard on yourslef. Just learn from it. Iv got my own issues that I'm working on


Dosn't look good for street..I feel a little heart broken again

[street]

I think she might want to see what else is out there. She has been devorced for 2 years from a cheating husband. I don't think I could take her dating other people and then wanting to come back. Why would she just not want to work through our issues?

[Gigabitch]

Probably have more issues than that. I have a 24 year old that will not leave me alone.She is very attractive And i am scared i will do something bad. I would much rather be with Lisa. Lonelyness at this point is a bad thing for me right now. I am not ready to move on.

Dude. Why should she trust you- you don't even trust yourself. You're too old to act like a high school kid. I would tell Lisa to recognize that you're just another rebound guy and to have fun with you but not to bother investing too much in you because you're too immature to handle a real woman.

[street]

I totally agree that I don't trust myself. I don't want to be alone in my life right now. Lisa is the one that I want to be with but she says not.
I am on here for Lisa not young girl.
But if it is really over which i hope it is not then a rebound girl for me wouldn't be a bad idea. i am strugling with this very much.
With Lisa that is.