Please offer your advice

[Sosadnow]

There has been an update to my saga... so know i am more confused and not sure what it all means.. Friends say one thing and other friends say another.. the basic story is:

My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months, and we fell in love very quickly. About a month ago I had a feeling out of nowhere that he had a fling while he was on a holiday, it was just a stupid hunch and I don’t really know why I thought it. I asked him straight up and he said no and I did believe him but in curiosity killed the cat and I just checked his phone and I found nothing and I was happy with that. But he found out I went through his phone as I didn’t cover my tracks….

I lied at first but felt bad so told the truth. He was upset and said it will take him a while to get over it and get back the trust. Things were going well for a while but he said he was still coming to terms with it and was slowly getting back the trust. I started becoming a bit clingy and always asking him if he still loved me and what are we doing this weekend etc. This was only because I didn’t know where i stood, i guess I just wanted some reassurance but I think that may have got too much for him and probably turned him off.
He said he understood why i became a bit clingy and I thought we had made some lead way. Anyway he has been stressed at work and also be being clingy has got to him a bit so he was going to break up with me but I said lets give it another go and he agreed as he said he wasn’t sure if it is the right thing to do and he is just fence sitting at the moment.

Though a couple of days later things were still not back to normal and he said he can’t give me what i want at the moment, he said maybe he just needs time to think and some space and if i can wait around but its up to me. He said space will make him know if he misses me or not. I said no i cant do that even, i walked out but then 5 min later came back to say i will give him what he wants (space) he said thank you for coming back, he said he felt very empty when i left and he is glad i said he can call me when he is ready. So that is where we left it..

Anyway i was good for a week and didn’t contact until Sunday, when i was a bit sad... I messaged him... I said "hey, I know it's only been a week, but just wanted to see how you were and if you were still thinking about breaking up or want to try to work things out" I then felt bad and thought I shouldn't have sent it and I wasn't given him what he needed which was space, so I sent him another text saying "sorry for texting before, I respect that you need space, I just had a couple of drinks and was feeling a bit sad"

he replied back the next day "hi, I'm ok but need to leave things the way they are at the moment. No need to apologise for texting. Hope you are well"
A couple of friends say he is a coward and he doesn't have the guts to break up with me and some say he is just still confused, give him time... I do honestly think that he is still uncertain and doesn't know either way. He is 32, not a teenager playing games, if he was 100% certain that breaking up with me was what he wanted to do, he would tell me, he owes me that. We were together 7 months, it wasnt like we had 2 dates!

If he wanted to take the easy way out he had a perfect opportunity when I texted him on Sunday and I asked him if he wanted to break up, he could have said it then and there yes and it would have been done with...

So i just dont know, everyone is different and i guess no one but he really knows.. I will wait but i guess i cant wait forever... Any thoughts????

[Mathias]

I would consider yourself broken up. I think he is a coward who won't break things off properly with you. I hope I am wrong, but i don't think so.

Listen to vashti. She knows stuff.

[fuzzywolf101]

I agree, it sounds like he is confused. However, from what I have noticed by watching those around me, this will most likely end without him breaking up with you, rather just stop talking to you. It sucks, but consider yourself single.

[Gigabitch]

Sosad, you need to focus on YOU for a minute. You're a mess, and I say that in the nicest way possible. No matter what your boyfriend does, you need to work on making sure you never become Needy Nellie again. It is the most unattractive thing on the planet. You could stop bathing and still be more attractive than Needy Nellie.

This will ruin your love life. Fix it. You're codependent.

[misombra]

nobody likes a partner that's always distrustful and checkin up on their shit.

too much pressure.