Advice needed!?!

[starbright08]

So I have been with my guy for 2 years now and the first year we dated it was really rocky only because we both knew of each other before we even decided to talk I was a party girl some might say but I really wasn't wild I just like to go out and enjoy drinking and dancing with my girlfriends. He was the kinda guy that would go out and sleep with a lot of girls.

Normally I wouldn't mind it cus I know Men are men when they are single and this what most do but I my issue is with him it doesnt even seem to matter who the girl is how nasty she is he will still sleep with her which to me is crazy I feel everyone should have a little respect and be able to say no to certain people they know are no good.

The reason why it bothers me now is a lot of the issues I have with him had to do with other females and the way he would let them talk to him most of the time I feel disrespected and whats is the point being with someone who doesn't know how to stick up for you to other People specially females.

For instance when we first got together one of my exes was still popping around and I had told the ex that we couldn't be friends because he had disrespected my relationship.
When the guy Im with now and I talked about it he had told me that it was good that I did that and he also mentioned he wasn't friends with any of his exes. He is in the military so he was deployed for 7 months during that time we had each others passwords to our fb accounts I had went into his one day and I saw a married woman who was his boss who he was deployed with was trying to hook him up with females. I didnt care about that as much the thing that bothered me is he just said haha to her telling him about her friend who was interested. I went to him about he got upset and changed his password. Then when he finally gets back from his deployment I was messing on his I pod I saw a message pop up from one of his exes, which I had a huge issue with cus while he was deployed this girls mother was still writing him telling him to visit her which I was not comfortable with this at all. I then saw that this ex had been randomly hitting him trying to skype with him and all tho he would reject her in a nice way even told her he was in a serious relationship she was still trying to skype with him.

At first it was all fine but I was a little curious of why he didnt share that this ex was in his life like that. The next thing I see is this ex writing him asking if he got a girl pregnant not even saying hey how are you she just went right into the question, he told her no and she then said good after. I personally knew she was saying towards me and I asked him to not talk to her anymore well he said he wouldn't and that we could break up basically telling me he doesn't talk to her every day and its no big deal but I don't feel that way at all. Specially now since I am pregnant with his child. He called me one day when he was at work and told me that she had wrote him saying she was excited and happy for his baby. I of course was like whatever this doesn't prove Im wrong about you not being friends with her if anything it makes her fake.

I was able to get into his Fb again and I saw before she had even wrote all this she asked him to call her. I instantly got upset. Now I see in his Fb that the married woman who he was deployed with who btw cheats on her husband and told him that were not married so if he did cheat it wouldn't matter yeah what a great role model. He had been hanging around this girl the whole time he was deployed. I know Its good to keep certain issues in the past but these issues were not resolved ever and kinda just put on a back burner. I dont want to get with someone where I have to worry who he is with what type of females he is hanging around I much rather be with someone where I dont have these worries and that I can have complete trust in them not someone who hides or says what I want to hear to keep me. I been trying to decide should I leave him and find someone I wouldnt have to feel this way ever cus I know it exist and I shouldn't have to settle for these type of things.

So men do you think Im overreacting or do I really have something to think about here before I take a leap and get married be honest?

[Wakeup]

Look, why are you snooping and sniffing around on your guy like you're a rabid beagle on the hunt? It's sad really what you do because of your anxiety and the angst feelings that your gut are welling up in you. You can't trust him. Why can't you trust him? Because he's basically untrustworthy, a liar and more than likely, a cheater while deployed.

Why would you have a baby with a man that you don't trust. A man that is untrustworthy and who lies to you? What did you think was going to happen that suddenly he would stop lying and have a clean email account and would quit with the emailing women who are suspect?

You don't need anyone to tell you that you're over-reacting because you know (and have proof through your chronic snooping) that this man is a dawg. Please don't have any furture children with men you don't trust or know enough to know if they are trustworthy or not.

Talk to him about getting couples councelling so that it learns what that word "trustworthy" means and applies the difinition in his own life and so that you learn to be able to trust him. If you don't, you'll always feel how you feel now. Angst ridden and feeling duped.

[haxan]

Forget overreacting, you just have a really shitty relationship. What a mess. Find something healthy, if that's possible for you.