venting

[th3f00l]

I have some weight on my chest and I don't know what to do. About a month ago I moved cross country with my girlfriend. We signed a lease together, and moved our stuff in. We weren't living together before and I was moving out of a mostly furnished apartment, so a few odds and ends needed to be purchased. She got a job first and that is why we moved when we did, but I paid for the moving expenses, first months rent, security deposit, and all other costs out of my pocket. She basically had no money and we just figured with her job she would pay the next months rent and over time pay the rest back. I'll tell you now that didn't happen, I had to borrow money from my dad. Well, three days after we move into our apartment she says that she doesn't feel the same way about me any more. She has friends in this city and I am brand new here. She said I was smothering her and that she needed alone time with her friends. We resolved this, I agreed to give her space when she needed it, but also let her know that she was all I had right now and I didn't want to be left sitting around while she went out. I also said it was just about the shittiest thing you could do, telling some one you didn't feel the same way a week after letting them exhaust all of their savings to get a life set up in a new city together.
So, I am still looking for a job and her job isn't bringing in as much as we thought. We have been fighting about small things, and nothing has really been as good as it was before we moved. One thing that makes me angry is that there is a guy that she talks to all of the time, except unlike her other friends, she never talks to him while I'm around. They have kind of a past from when she lived here before but nothing major. It turns out that she has been flirting with this guy online and in text messages for the past two months before we ever moved here, and making it a point that I didn't find out. Today she decides again that she doesn't feel the same way about me because of my jealousy. The last time we were here before we moved here she left me with some of her friends whom I had never met to go say Hi to this guy (he lived two floors above where we were) and didn't come back for almost an hour. I got angry and me getting angry then was her excuse for carrying on with him the past two months, saying that if I was going to get angry for something she wasn't doing then she may as well do it. To my knowledge nothing physical has ever happened between them, except when they made out on one of her visits before the two of us were officially dating (I was also seeing other people during that period).
I know she hasn't cheated on me, but I am also almost certain that she entertained the idea, and left a door open in a way. I don't want to forbid her from seeing a friend, but I also don't feel comfortable with them being alone together.... ever! I know that I can be jealous, and that not having any one else or a job can make me a little over bearing. I just don't understand how someone can move out to a new city with you, if they arent willing to get through a whole month without springing this "I don't feel the same way about you" "I am feeling more like being single because I'm f@cked up and dont wanna bring anyone else down" "I am feeling trapped" "I love you but it feels more like friendship than sexual"
So we had sex five or six times tonight, still sleep in the same bed, minus the fact that I cant sleep and am writhing this instead. I don't really know if anything got solved. Neither of us know if we broke up or not, and we made a joke about letting the superbowl decide if we are boyfriend and girlfriend or not. We agreed that we wont see other people as long as we live together, and said maybe it's just the stress we have been under. I still don't see myself being able to trust her with this guy, and then I don't know if she will just hide it from me if she decides to see him. I don't want to lose someone I love because of my own trust/jealousy issues, but I also don't wanna find out that she has been sneaking around on me. I'm sorry for anyone who actually read this in its entirety. I am really just venting because I cant talk about this to any of my friends because they will hate my girlfriend and none of them have even met her yet, the same goes for my family. She has her friends to talk to about this here. She actually suggested that I could talk to a mutual friend of ours or even my ex girlfriend about it. I almost sent a similar message to this one to my ex girlfriend but it found this forum first, to her benefit I am sure. Any insight would be appreciated, but I am almost certain very few will brave the full length of this text.

[Lulu]

She sounds like a user. How old are you guys? It just seems like you would / should have known her better before moving like that with her. I say be room mates and start to figure a way to get away from her.

[th3f00l]

I'm 25 she is 24. We have been seeing each other for over a year, I had to move out of my place, and was ready to move away. The move in together was a little rushed but it was either move away together or break up. We didn't want to break up, and we both wanted to get the hell out of that town.