My boyfriend broke up with me but now he doesn't know what he wants

[Kaii]

Im 18, hes 17, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 whole years. We never once had a fight and got along incredibly well. Occasionally, though i had my tough stressful times, and got emotional. I've always had dad issues, and my mom went away for a couple of month so I was left with caring for my family, and i wasn't doing so hot academically either. I truly love my boyfriend more than anything but when I had my moment of course I would cry. Over time he believed his comforting method toward me didn't work and gave up. But tbh he did incredibly comforting me and always made me feel better. Later on he said he started feeling miserable and just didn't want to hurt me because he still cares about me. We tried so many times to "fix" things but to him nothing was working or he never even gave it a chance. Everytime I thought things were happy and joyous between us too he told me he was 50/50 about being with me which took me off guard because I thought we were ok. Ok, to fill in, sometimes I would he so upset and react on impluse. I would drive over to his place because I didn't like talking about our relationship over text. I prefered in person confrontations. After the "1st" break up he kept on messaging me saying he was iffy about breaking up. I didn't see it as a big deal because I thought maybe we could work things out. He said he wanted us to be happy like how we use to be and I agreed. By the way he did this 3 times. Sometimes beyond happy and ok and kissing me but other times messaging me telling me we should break up. This happened over a course of a week. He have even gave it a chance to fix things. After what I thought was our offical breakup we ended up meeting a few times afterwards. Like to exchange our belongings and talk things out. The first time we met up was after what I thought was the offical break up because I felt bad with how we broke if off. We apologized to each other and he said he still wanted us to be friends. I can't help but blame myself though for why we broke up. He said me being emotional got too overwhelming and he hated how I dealt with it. Sometimes I would say stupid things which i didn't even mean. Those times we met up after the break up for some reason he still acted like we never even broke up. He still kissed me, hugged me, etc even though he knew it was wrong. It only confused me of course. He told me he didn't know why he did these things at first. After around the 3rd time meeting he started telling me he missed me. We didn't see each other for 2 weeks until he invited me over. He told me he missed me and us and kissing me etc. But he also said he wasn't sure about being in a relationship etc. It's off putting and confusing because I don't get why he's being like this. Today he told me he thinks he really does love me but just isn't up for a relationship right now. Though he said maybe later when things are better he would love to get back together if he wants. But then he tells me he doesn't mean to get my hopes up. He's so nice and caring yet is so confusing and bipolar for the past 3 weeks with this whole "break up" stuff. Btw we are each others first for everything. First boyfriend and girlfriend, first kiss, first I love yous the whole nine yards. So tbh we don't know how to relationship or anything of the sort. I just wondering that since hes confused if hed ever take me back. I want things to work out more than ever. I really do love him more than anything I just want him to be happy because I worry about him too. Need some good advice here please

[Hooo!]

I have heard much about your relationship and about your friend
I guess that he really loves you but hates or rather can't handle various things you do.

The most explicit is your "emotional" behaviour. I guess there are other aspects as well

If you want any relationship to work you have to identify errors and talk to each other.
But then you have to actually do something about it and or change your own attitude and or behaviour.

If he can't handle things you do, stop doing them.
If he is missing something the start doing it.
Change yourself for your own good, because it is better for yourself and your relationship compatibility as well.

Discuss this openly and honestly with him.

[Kaii]

Hooo!, you're right. I should change myself to be the better me. I mean that we what he orginally fell in love with before. Back when I was confident, happy, and didnt care what others thought of me. I just hope he can see that and understand that I'm not just all emotional like he claims. I hope if he does give it a chance he can see how much of a better person I can be

[Hooo!]

First identify all of the problems

If you have told him (as you should have) that he really helps you with your "emotional behaviour"
I don't think that is the real big issue

That's why I would identify the problem first before I'd go and change "something "

[Kaii]

I mean he told me the reason why he didnt like how I dealt with my emotions. I would say things like "nothing works out for me" or along the lines of suicidal stuff. But trust me I know myself and in the midst of a panic attack I say a lot of things I don't mean in the end. I realize it and it's something I can obviously fix. I guess everything got too overwhelming for him. He told me that he does care for me and worry and hates seeing me like this. But I don't get why that, that has to be a reason to break us up because I know we were a happy couple

[Hooo!]

If your boyfriend would constantly tell you how suicidal he is while he is with you
How would you feel?
Would you feel like in a happy healthy relationship where you are doing a good job?