Things Have Changed

[recklessgreed]

I've been going out with this girl for a year and 6 months. She loved me intensely up until recently. She used to talk about marrying me, had already named our children, called me three times a day, etc. She broke up with me for about a month and a half, but got back with me. Her reasons were that she wanted "some space" and to find out if she could "live without me." Apparently she can't.

We're only seventeen. It's a year until college is comes and separates us. We've already agreed that we don't want a long distance relationship. She thinks we should tone down our relationship because she isn't sure things are going to work out.

Now she says that she doesn't want things to be so "intense." She says, “I want to test the waters to find out if you're really the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to know how other people make me feel, and compare that to how you make me feel. I don't want to marry you and just end up divorcing you."

One of the main reasons she wants an open relationship is because my parents won't let us be. They're trying to separate us, and she doesn't want to be my "fake" girlfriend, she wants us to be real. She said that she'd be exclusive to me if I could convince them. My parents won't be convinced because they're afraid she'll just hurt me and break up with me again. They also think her reasons for originally breaking up with me were total crap and that there's some dark alterior motive.

She says she'll always love me and I know it's true. I just don't know what to do anymore. Things aren't the same. The thought of an open relationship sickens me, and is something she never would have even suggested in the past. She used to get so jealous of me being with other girls that she'd threaten to kill anyone else I went out with. Now it's like she doesn't care. She still calls me all the time, she still can't get enough of me, and I can't get enough of her.

What should I do? Should I break up with her now to prevent the ultimate pain in college? How can I convince my parents to let her be my girlfriend? Why is she doing all of this?

[Yggdrasil]

Buddy, she's on her way out. Don't let the door slap her on her behind nor you in the face while you're running after her trying to prevent it.

Of course, if you want to be her safety net.. hey... be my guest.

Do the right thing for yourself here and tell her it's over.

Then break of all contact (and I mean ALL, msn, txt, phone, everything) and feel shitty about it till you get over her.

Surround yourself with supportive friends, focus on your studies and go work out and get a few new hobbies.

You're only 17. You have your entire life ahead of you. Don't turn this into a drama.

[ecojeanne]

this is your first love heartache. don't take it too seriously coz it's true you will be heading off to college soon enough and what she says is true. enjoy what time you have together now and take each day as it comes. when it comes time for college then you will realise it will be for the best coz you will find it impossible to maintain a LDR. if she still wants to see you all the time and so do you then there is no problem for now.