Struggling to find new love

[Viro]

I came out of a 4 year relationship not to long ago or about 6 months ago, since then i have met allot of people and met new friends, but i just cant find myself loving someone. The are a few girls that realy show interrest and want to be in a relationship with me, but i just cant see myself in a relationship, or i find it very difficult. The other thing is my ex is not a part of my life anymore, and i have totally moved on, she is not even in my mind...

What advice can someone give for me to actually love again...?

[doz]

Hi Viro.

This time I will help you... I have just fallen in love and I have been in an 8 year relationship which i came out of 1 year ago now... I have since slept around, had girlfriends for a few weeks and got bored etc. I was always trying to "compare". Love finds you suddenly... and it WILL come! i thought exactly the same as you for a year. What you got to do is have lots of fun now and when the right girl comes along you WILL feel it. Time heals, memories and feelings fade and when they do, whatever is REAL will overtake them.The girl I now love has also been 4 years and broke up 6 months ago. While she still loves him and "likes" me, she is finding it hard to fall for me (and i have no problem generally attracting women). even though she fancies me alot - jeez i even took her to venice and that didnt make her love me... just goes to show that people need time to adjust.

[Viro]

Thats very true what you say there... lol... you see at this moment i am having the best time of my life... i have great friends, and i am managing a band aswell, so the sosial part is there...lol

[doz]

Thats very true what you say there... lol... you see at this moment i am having the best time of my life... i have great friends, and i am managing a band aswell, so the sosial part is there...lol

Yep - I have been having the best time of my life as well. Love will just come... Just make sure you go out alot and meet people. Oh - and when you see a girl you like, go for her and dont be scared to talk to her... she could be the one...

[Viro]

Lol.... There is rarely a time i am home, and i love to have conversations with new people i meet, you see there are a few beautiful girls i have met, but just cant fall in love with them, and they want to go into a relationship, but if i go into the relationship the chances are it will not work, reason is for me unable to fall in love... it is so stupid, i know, it is just a part of me that resists the temptation to fall in love...

[doz]

Lol.... There is rarely a time i am home, and i love to have conversations with new people i meet, you see there are a few beautiful girls i have met, but just cant fall in love with them, and they want to go into a relationship, but if i go into the relationship the chances are it will not work, reason is for me unable to fall in love... it is so stupid, i know, it is just a part of me that resists the temptation to fall in love...

just let it happen dude. dont go into relationships with any of these girls... just have fun, gain experience from them, be honest with them saying you DONT expect to fall in love with them at all but only want fun. One day you will meet the girl of your dreams out of the blue, and because you WONT be in a proper relationship, you will be free to pursue her, not feel guilty and have no hangups about love...

[Viro]

Thanks bro... i will do that...lol...

[KirstyM]

You probably arent ready to get into another serious relationship so soon. Dont try and force yourself into loving someone, if it happens, it happens, but you cant MAKE it happen. Just relax, socialise and enjoy yourself.

[blackiesharley]

Let it happen naturally. (And it WILL) I got out of an eleven year R/S and the first thing I did was start looking for a replacement. I too was a band manager in the '80s (couple of semi-famous bands, back then) and know a lot of people so I returned to my old rock & roll hang-outs. Met a lot of girls, dated quite a few to no avail, just a waste of time, money and energy.

I then came to the personal conclusion that I really didn't want anybody, I wasn't ready, yet I wanted to know that I 'still had it' and could get girls if I wanted. Ego? Insecurity? Maybe a bit of both. I stopped looking, but I still went out and socialized, had a good time for ME.

And guess what? As soon as I stopped looking I ran into a lady at a club by accident one night. We've been together ever since that night and are planning a future together. Best R/S I've ever had, hands down.

Again, let it happen naturally and meanwhile, have a good time for yourself.

PS: Being in the music business is probably THE best way to meet women, at least in my experience. You'll meet cool guys too that can become buddies. We need friends too.

[Viro]

blackiesharley

Thanks for the advice... i will be sure to follow it... and who knows maybe in a year or 2 from now, we will be sitting at the same gig, drinking a few beers...lol

[blackiesharley]

blackiesharley

Thanks for the advice... i will be sure to follow it... and who knows maybe in a year or 2 from now, we will be sitting at the same gig, drinking a few beers...lol

Sounds good to me