good idea or bad idea...send girl food @ work

[Tired]

long story short...asked girl out (told her I'd buy her dinner when she got back from vacation), she said yes...went on vacation, came back and was still saying yes....when it was time to go out she all of a sudden backed out.

I'm thinking she got scared or nervous and she still wants it to happen or at least she DID want it to happen along the way. I had zero doubt we were goin out and was shocked she backed out, didn't expect it at all.

We're still cool, talk a lot.

I was thinking of anonymously sending her some pizzas to her work (working something out with a pizza manager). Putting a note on there addressed to her like "I told you I was going to buy you dinner" and not sign it. She would know exactly where it came from.

We work for the same company but she works at a different location but we see each other everyday. So basically I'd have that pizza delivered at a certain time and she'd see me like 2 hours later.

I was thinking it'd be funny and a smartass thing to do...in a good way.

most people i've ran it by think its a good idea......some say it would embarrass her, she might get ribbed for having a secret admirer.

[misombra]

that would be funny.

but you should put your name on it. don't be a wimp.

another but... but do not expect her to respond or to get anything in return. send the pizza, leave the rest to destiny.

[vashti]

I like it. It's clever and original.

i don't know if it will work, but I'd be charmed.

[Tired]

that would be funny.

but you should put your name on it. don't be a wimp.

another but... but do not expect her to respond or to get anything in return. send the pizza, leave the rest to destiny.

im not being a wimp, we work for the same company....leaving the note will tell HER exactly where it came from. Nobody else needs to know our business and it'll be our little secret

[Gigabitch]

I think it's a great idea. Very charming.

[CoolCalico2001]

I'd be flattered

[Tired]

some people are telling me i'm "rewarding her flakiness", basically she said yes to dinner twice and then backed out and said she'd think about it....so now i don't know what shes thinking....like i said we're cool but I don't know if she has permanently backed out for good and tried to let me down easy. I didn't think that till someone mentioned it

i don't know if she just freaked out. I'm inclined to believe she freaked out but idk.

I thought sending some pizza's was just a funny thing to kinda break the ice, get her thinking about me on her way to work. She'd see me like 2 hours after she got the pizza. But some are saying its desperate, since she said she'd think about it, i should just back off and let her make a move.

The way shes been back and forth idk what to do.....i'm not sure whether i should keep trying, act normal, I don't know if i should wait on her or if shes completely changed her mind for good. Her actions and everything are all over the place day to day so i'm lost.

Should I just flat out ask her to be more direct with me....whether shes backed out for good, whether shes seriously "thinking about it". IDK

[boobaa]

Do it, how can be you wanting to do good be a bad thing?

[1averagejoe]

Do it...I think it's an awesome idea. Plus I don't think it's too pushy, I think it's more of a friendly joke. If you were worried about being pushy, don't ask her again to go out to dinner. This is a subtle move that you'll have to wait and see how it plays out. It may be good, it may be neutral, but it probably won't be bad.

[Rosebud]

I think it's a good idea because your sticking to your word no matter what she said. I wouldn't over think anything, just do it and see what happens.

[Tired]

This is a subtle move that you'll have to wait and see how it plays out. It may be good, it may be neutral, but it probably won't be bad.

good way to look at it....nothing to lose, possibility of something to gain right?

[GrkScorp]

some say it would embarrass her, she might get ribbed for having a secret admirer.

That's total crap.. it wouldn't embarrass her at all.. the only thing that'll happen is that she'll be flattered.. and if other people make remarks like:

"Oh! Who's that from?"

If it really makes her embarrassed and makes her feel socially awkward.. she's a woman.. she'll instinctively resort to saying something like.. "oh nobody" or "I have no idea".. But more likely the case that it's her chance to feel even more flattered and special that other people are curious and giving her this attention and validation that she has a "secret admirer"

But if you're going to see her 2 hours later.. that's a great way to pick things up before they slow-down into a friends-only type of situation.. it's funny, you have something to talk about.. great idea.. and good thinking

Best,

GrkScorp

[Mish]

some people are telling me i'm "rewarding her flakiness", basically she said yes to dinner twice and then backed out and said she'd think about it....

Yeh, I was thinking the same. Why would you want to reward her flakiness?

Do you know why she backed out? Did she give you a reason?

I wouldn't bother to reward her for her bad behavior. Instead I'd send her an email with a photo of some really nice food with a caption that reads something like:

"I just want you to know that even though you couldn't make it to dinner last night I still went out and had a great time in your absence. Mmmmmm, yummy yummy food that just melted in my mouth. Look at it, delicious isn't it? Wanna try some??? .................. Sorry, you couldn't make it. Mmm, mmm, mmm haven't had dinner like that for a looooooooong while. It's too bad you missed out"


P.S. Hi Rosie!!

[vashti]

some people are telling me i'm "rewarding her flakiness",

That's silly. It's just a pizza - not a diamond. That's hardy a big investment. If she was on the fence, the pizza could charm her. Some people need convincing.

But yes - you shoud follow it up with a direct question. It shows maturity. If she flakes after that, blow her off.

[Mish]

Have fun with it. Giving her the pizza at this stage may come off as too clingy especially after she changed her mind about the idea of having dinner with you. You don't want to come of as the type "I said we'll have dinner and we're having it one way or the other".

You want to be the fun, easy going guy who doesn't take life too seriously. Who's not worried about achieving some milestones like dinners. You want to give her an experience around which she can wrap her feelings. Everything else will come on its own through chemistry.