Help! How to proceed?

[ShawnRez]

Hi everyone!

I'm in a situation that I just don't know what to do with. I've known a girl for about two years. We always just clicked. Similar interests, similar styles, etc. To this day, she still tells me things she does or things she likes that reference something I love (and never told her about). I've been crazy about her for about 6 months now. The only problem? She's was in a relationship, and she was happy.

This past weekend, she had a huge problem with him. And, after he requested they take a break, she broke up with him. I did my part to comfort her and be there for her. I hated that she was sad, but I admit I was thinking "Maybe now, I've got a shot!" We've actually gotten quite a bit closer in the past week. I was planning to give her time to move on and get over him. Then, tell her how I feel.

Tonight, she emailed me that he came back and was all apologetic and she's decided to give him a second chance, with the idea that "if i don't give him a 2nd chance, I'll always wonder what would have happened." My heart sunk when I read this.

I don't know what to do next. I see three paths in front of me.

(1) I stand by her side, support her, be patient, and wait to see if this crashes or works. This is what I've been doing, but we're at the age where relationships aren't guaranteed to end.

or

(2) Tell her how I feel right now and try to win her over instead of seeing her return for a second run with this guy.

or

(3) Keep getting closer and slowly win her heart away from this guy.

I just don't know what to do. Help!! All advice is appreciated.

[tooxshort]

I think you should do:

4) Find a different girl that isn't emotionally attached to someone else. A girl who doesn't see you as just a friend.

It's not often that a girl ends up with the shoulder she uses to cry on, you know?

I know you're crazy about her, but it's just the reality of the situation. If only life were like a romantic comedy ... but it's not.

[alovehangoverr]

I think you should do:

4) Find a different girl that isn't emotionally attached to someone else. A girl who doesn't see you as just a friend.

It's not often that a girl ends up with the shoulder she uses to cry on, you know?

I know you're crazy about her, but it's just the reality of the situation. If only life were like a romantic comedy ... but it's not.

This.

From your post it seems like you're under the impression that if this guy weren't around she'd want to be with you/you'd have a chance-- and.. that's not really all that realistic. If you're a friend, you're a friend. It's hard, if not impossible, to break out of that title.

1. If you do option one.. there's a good chance you're just going to be wasting your time. This relationship could continue for a while-- and whether it crashes or works, there's no guarantee for you. Waiting around for someone is always bad news.

2. If you want drama or to lose your friend, go for it. Honestly, if she's giving him a second chance it's because she cares about him and wants to see where it goes. Do you really think she's going to ditch all those feelings because you step in and tell her how you feel?

3. You might think you're "winning her heart over," but if she sees you as a friend, all she's going to see is you doing nice things for her and being a good friend who's there when she needs you.

[glow]

it's hard to say because there's so many different friendship dynamics, i don't know exactly what yours is like.