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Thread: Should I just throw in the towel?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Should I just throw in the towel?

    I've been "seeing" this guy for a couple months. I can't call it dating because we have never been on an actual date.
    He is very, very shy, and basically we usually just end up hanging out at my house.
    I have implicitly, and explicitly told him that I want to go do something.
    I know its sexist, but I want him to take me out!!! I don't even expect him to pay, I just want a freakin' date or two.
    I let him sleep over once after some wine(platonically) and now he expects that he should do so every time he comes over. I don't think he's earned the privilege of going any further.
    What the hell is he thinking???
    I haven't even kissed him, mostly because the other problem is that he has bad breath. I'm not sure what to do about this either...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
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    Male
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    2,310
    If he wont get up the courage to take you out first, then you take him out. Also, for the bad breath, give him a tic tac or two. maybe three. Then from there, see where things go. Someone has to make the first move. Sometimes it's the woman in rare cases. Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    288
    I think you've already made up your mind, though you may not have convinced yourself of it.

    Trying to fix the relationship or wait around for it to get better will most likely only cause you further stress.

    There comes a time to realize a bad investment, cut your losses, and move on.

    It sounds like it's that time.

    ~Sphinx
    You don't need eyes to see, you need vision. ~Faithless, Reverence.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by tryingtoforget View Post
    I've been "seeing" this guy for a couple months. I can't call it dating because we have never been on an actual date.
    He is very, very shy, and basically we usually just end up hanging out at my house.
    I have implicitly, and explicitly told him that I want to go do something.
    I know its sexist, but I want him to take me out!!! I don't even expect him to pay, I just want a freakin' date or two.
    I let him sleep over once after some wine(platonically) and now he expects that he should do so every time he comes over. I don't think he's earned the privilege of going any further.
    What the hell is he thinking???
    I haven't even kissed him, mostly because the other problem is that he has bad breath. I'm not sure what to do about this either...
    He could just be happy to spend time with you at home - not everyone places the same importance on going out. If you really need to do it though, plan it yourself and see how he reacts. Buy tickets to a movie, reserve seats at a cafe etc. If he acts like a shit etc during these dates, rethink the 'relationship'; even if it's not something crucial, his differing attitudes will definitely bight you in the butt later on.

    As for his breath, try mints - but make sure you have some yorself and offer some to him too so he doesn't feel offended. That's assuming he hasn't gone chronic medical problems that make bad breath, in which case he should see a professional.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    216
    Try to do it yourself, like people have said. If he doesn't behave talk to him. If it all fails, you'll have to dump him, I'm afraid.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    16,935
    I'd have kicked him to the curb already. Do you just want someone to help you feel okay about this? It's okay. You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear, as my grandmother used to say.
    Spammer Spanker

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