Dealing with her new bf

[9eltrey]

I was really into my gf of eight months until she broke up with me for another guy three weeks ago. At first I was really upset and I missed her, but she's keeping in touch and something strange has started to happen - I'm excited over the thought of her with someone else and I don't really know why. I feel humiliated that another guy has taken my place, but the humiliation is somehow exciting.

I find myself thinking about them more and more and I really want to come out to her, and him, about my desires. I have been fantacizing about cleaning his apartment, washing his car, doing his laundry, etc. all while my ex-gf is there, kind of snickering at me. I really don't think they would be to opposed to this if it didn't interfere with their relationship. The problem is, I'm really afraid when it comes to how to explain all of this to them. I'm thinking of calling her up and offering to pay for her date with him tonight as an ice breaker. What do you think?

[James1388]

You feel like this because you cannot accept the fact that she is gone. You want to re-live the good old days. You have to realize this. There are a lot of girls out there and she is just not the right one for you. What you want to do is pretend like you are dating her again and that is not good. Its not that you cannot find someone else because you will.

[chump4u]

I was really into my gf of eight months until she broke up with me for another guy three weeks ago. At first I was really upset and I missed her, but she's keeping in touch and something strange has started to happen - I'm excited over the thought of her with someone else and I don't really know why. I feel humiliated that another guy has taken my place, but the humiliation is somehow exciting.


I find myself thinking about them more and more and I really want to come out to her, and him, about my desires. I have been fantacizing about cleaning his apartment, washing his car, doing his laundry, etc. all while my ex-gf is there, kind of snickering at me. I really don't think they would be to opposed to this if it didn't interfere with their relationship. The problem is, I'm really afraid when it comes to how to explain all of this to them. I'm thinking of calling her up and offering to pay for her date with him tonight as an ice breaker. What do you think?

Why don't you have her boyfriend spank your bare ass while you're at it? She could watch and laugh while he does it, and you'd be in heaven.

Save the money you were going to offer for her date, and apply it to a therapist for yourself. You need one, badly.

[bloodtippedrose]

They would definitely think you're up to something psychotic, like they come home to you mowing their lawn, theyre going to think youre plotting to kill him. Something snapped when she said I DONT WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE.
My advice, disconnect from her as soon as possible and console yourself with drunk girl porn. Watching a frat brother take advantage of a drunk chick is less damaging to yourself then letting your ex and her new beau take advantage of you.

[qwertz]

omg, walk away and dont contact her or him again.

[bloodtippedrose]

omg, walk away and dont contact her or him again.

the answer to 75% of love forum inquiry's.

[Chazza2k]

Strange Dude, only thing I felt when this happened to me when my Ex left me for someone else is sick to my stomach and I hated the guy and never have met him. I guess I really hated her for making me feel that way, to hate someone I have never met makes no sense.

Time makes it easier, you start to think of her less and less, in a lot of ways I think theres someone better out there for me now, she really wasnt the one.

[kms]

This actually is not an uncommon fantasy. You'd be surprised at how many guys (and females too) are turned on by the thought of their significant other engaging in something sexual with someone else (just take a look through all the dating websites; you'll see a lot of couples advertising for another person to help them out with their fantasy).

But - the issue here is that she's not yours anymore, so she may not be as open to your fantasy as she might have been if she were still in a relationship with you. She's moved on and no longer needs to do anything for you. Even if she might be willing to entertain the thought, I'm pretty sure her boyfriend would think you were up to no good (or crazy), especially if he's never had this sort of fantasy (so he definitely wouldn't be able to understand where you were coming from). That might even harm their relationship, as he may start to have doubts about a girl who would be with a guy like 'that'.

Perhaps instead, you could keep it as just a fantasy and not reality - something to make you feel turned on when you're by yourself or even with someone else. Fantasies are great because we don't have to deal with the reality of real life - all the negative consequences that could occur as a result. However, it could also be something you could pursue later on when you are in another relationship, if she's willing to give it a try.

[lhn]

Strange Dude, only thing I felt when this happened to me when my Ex left me for someone else is sick to my stomach and I hated the guy and never have met him. I guess I really hated her for making me feel that way, to hate someone I have never met makes no sense.

Time makes it easier, you start to think of her less and less, in a lot of ways I think theres someone better out there for me now, she really wasnt the one.

I'm the same as Chazza2k... except I knew the person mine started to date. Felt sick sick sick sick sick for weeks on end!

I lost over 2 stone in weight, put it that way.

[Chupacabras]

Not at all uncommon, there's a whole fetish niche out there for it (cuckold).

What you're going through doesn't seem very healthy though, break all contact.