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Thread: Does my ex-bf really want to be friends or just keep me along till next gf comes

  1. #1
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    Does my ex-bf really want to be friends or just keep me along till next gf comes

    My ex-bf broke up with me at the beginning of august. After 1 month of NC, I was the one who broke it by asking him if I could have my stuff back from his place. I was sorta expecting him to just ask me to come all the way to his place to get it and then he would bang the door on me or he simply just left it outside his flat. In the end he suggested getting a drink to catch up and we did. He looked pretty happy to see me, and bought me the drinks and gave me a very friendly hug and said it was good to see me and we should catch up again sometime.

    We ran into each other once at a bar we both love to go. He was talking to his female friend and I said hi to him when I saw him, and he seemed very excited when he saw me and invited me to join his table. I was with my friend, who hates him very much because he dumped me. So I said we need to grab some drinks first. Two guys at the bar talked to us and invited us to join their table, not that far away from my ex since it was a small bar. we talked to those guys for a bit and my friend said he was looking at my direction. We found the guys boring and we left to go back to my ex, he was like so you ready to join the table. So I introduced him to my friend and her to him. I hanged around for a few mins and talked very briefly before his friend talked to him and he turned away. Once he turned away, my friend insisted me to put my down unfinished drink and leave immediately and said I should not say goodbye to him. Later he texted me "you disappeared" and I texted back saying "my friend wanted to leave and I literally got dragged away. tried to say goodbye. sorry, didnt mean to be rude." he replied rite away "haha enjoy the night." Next morning, I texted him asking where he went afterwards and he asked me how I was and my night, he still sounded friendly.

    Recently I needed some advice and I knew he probably knows most abt those matters so I texted him for some advice, and he was quite enthusiastic when he replied.

    So does he really want us to be friends? I mean I feel like we are now trying to be friends with each other. I like things this way, since we actually got along well when we were still together, just we don't work as a couple. But somehow I feel like when he has a new gf, he won't talk to me again. Like now he doesnt have a new girl yet, so for him it may sound like a good idea to have me around. And he knows I am not seeing anyone.

  2. #2
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    Stay away. It's clear you still have lingering emotions about the whole thing - and being friends right now isn't going to end well for either of you.

  3. #3
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    I feel like when he has a new gf, he won't talk to me again. Like now he doesnt have a new girl yet, so for him it may sound like a good idea to have me around.
    You answered your own question.

    Don't be like all the other people who think they can be simple friends with someone they're still hung up on it will just stagnate YOU from finding a guy that does work with you as a couple. Add the other negative. There is very, very few people that are okay with their partner remaining friends with thier past lovers.

    Check your codependency and get on with your life without him in it. You can be friendly if you cross paths but don't stagnate yourself by texting him and hoping you'll reconcile or worse, get laid with out strings. That will just screw with your emotional health.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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