Broke a promise - Please help!

[tazzor]

Hey everyone,

My gf just broke up with me because I broke a promise...

This sounds stupid, but she made me promise her to never to look at porn again... I promised her because it was the only way I could of repaired the relationship at that time... and of course, being a guy, I was unable to keep that promise... =(

I feel horrible because I know we are both very deeply in love, it would be tragic to lose her over something like this...

Any suggestions?

Thanks!!

[1averagejoe]

Porn is something almost all guy looks at. Any guy that denies it is either asexual, super religious, or ****ed up in the head.

My ex was this same way, she didn't like me looking at it and would get pissed when I told her. I just stopped telling her. I couldn't help it, it's just natural and it's almost like an addiction. It's not that you don't love them it's that you just need a bit of sexual satisfaction once in a while and women are different than us in this way.

She's going to have a very tough time finding a guy that doesn't look at porn once in a while. She needs to understand most guys look at it, a guy masturbates every now and then to it, and it's something she shouldn't be upset about. I, like most guys that don't masturbate once in a while get upset, cranky, and very irritable.

I'm also going to guess that she's young? She's also more than likely insecure about herself.

[IndiReloaded]

She should never have made you promise something like that. And you should never have agreed.

Are you into really freaky shit? Or is it just normal porn? Unless you are into little kids & dead bodies, she is being unreasonable.

[tazzor]

Thanks for your replies!

We're both 23, however, her only other ex was an idiot and never even knew how to check email, let alone look at porn. I tried to explain to her every guy looks at porn, and its not something I could help. Nope. She keeps saying that a guy with a girlfriend does not need porn. And yes, they're just normal porn!

This subject has ripped apart our relationship and caused us to fight numerous of times, so I finally promised her, otherwise our relationship would of already ended.

Now the problem is no longer I look at porn, but I broke our promise.. I have been extremely secretive about it, but she found a software that can revive my history... I don't get it, feels like shes trying to pick a fight...

I feel like a dick now... What do you say to a girl after you've broke her trust? =(

[IndiReloaded]

I'm going to disagree with you Tazzor. I don't think you really have much to be forgiven for.

Imagine if a friend of yours told you his GF made him promise to never look at another girl. Or wear brown socks. Or ever eat meat b/c SHE is a vegetarian.

Some requests are reasonable, some are not. The ONLY thing you have to apologize for is that you didn't communicate clearly to her that you felt her demand was unreasonable. And it is. If she has a problem with that, tell her to post on here & we'll set her straight.

She has a big insecurity problem. This is the real issue, not that you enjoy porn.

I have been extremely secretive about it, but she found a software that can revive my history...

The fact that she actually did this also says she has major trust issues. Unless you are addicted to porn, this is about her, not you.

[Gribble]

Bud, she must not have loved you much if she was willing to leave you for something as petty as that. Sorry to say it.

[shh!]

I know women who go absolutely crazy about porn.

I'm inclined to agree with what everyone else said, especially indi, but I just want to ask: how often are you indulging? What may be overlooked if done occassionally becomes a huge problem when it's a habit.

[tazzor]

Yes, she thinks I'm a "porn addict", and it really "freaks her out".. What she doesn't know is that I just look at it when I'm tired from studying, bored while shes showering, etc etc... Its not like I beat my meat every time I watch it.....

As somebody else mentioned... Yes, it is more or less a habit for me... I can't quit as I don't see the problem...

Trust issues.... She has been caught me lying to her about this issue a few times in the past, so yes, there is a problem with her trusting me.... This sucks =(

If she has a problem with that, tell her to post on here & we'll set her straight.

Haha, awesome..

[shh!]

I'm not one of those women who freak about porn, but I wouldn't date someone who had a regular porn habit, either. Sorry.

[1averagejoe]

I wasn't a regular porn addict when I wasn't single. I actually rarely did it when I was still with my ex. Maybe once a week, sometimes less.

But now that I'm single I look a bit more. Nothing ridiculous though. It's just a nice stress reliever or something to do when I'm bored.

[tazzor]

I'm not one of those women who freak about porn, but I wouldn't date someone who had a regular porn habit, either. Sorry.

I would never look at it in her face, nor would I ever cheat on her even if one of these porn stars climbed out of my monitor... I look at them the same way a car enthusiast looks at pictures/videos of Ferraris.

Please share why this is an issue!

[miSSleepy]

Now the problem is no longer I look at porn, but I broke our promise.. I have been extremely secretive about it, but she found a software that can revive my history... I don't get it, feels like shes trying to pick a fight...

I feel like a dick now... What do you say to a girl after you've broke her trust? =(

Why are you blaming this on yourself? The girl went out of her way to abuse your privacy with some CD, and you want to apologise to her?

There is nothing you could save... there's nothing worth saving. She's willing to break up with you over something so dumb, after spying on you. What is there you want to save?

[shh!]

I would never look at it in her face, nor would I ever cheat on her even if one of these porn stars climbed out of my monitor... I look at them the same way a car enthusiast looks at pictures/videos of Ferraris.

Please share why this is an issue!

I wouldn't date anyone with any kind of chronic bad habit. I think it demonstrates a lack of self control. Occassional use is no problem for me, though.

[1averagejoe]

I wouldn't date anyone with any kind of chronic bad habit. I think it demonstrates a lack of self control. Occassional use is no problem for me, though.

What about a cycling habit? lol...it's starting to get bad, I get grumpy when I don't get to cycle.

[shh!]

That's a GOOD habit, silly.