Sometimes I get a different perspective

[DoesntMatter]

From just thinking about the same thing in a different way. As in, something I've known for a long time, but suddenly it changes meaning for me. I couldn't fall asleep a couple nights ago and just thought "Why do I like girls so much if I've never even 'had' one?". Something that simple, but I thought about it for a while, and it just became such a strange thought. I know what the reasoning is, I'm pre-programmed to feel this way. But still, it is so weird to just think of it like that for a little.. It's like an addiction but I've never done anything to deserve this addiction, I was born with it.

And then it becomes so hard to do school work. I sit down and realize I wasted an hour thinking about this stupid shit, and I can't concentrate on my school work because I can't feed my addiction. In the last 3 years or so, I don't know how much time I've wasted because a huge part of my mind is being consumed by these nagging thoughts. And I can't shake it and won't be able to until I die.

Which makes it so much worse than any physical or "psychological" addiction. When you snort shit up your nose, it changes your brain chemistry to something unnatural and takes your brain chemistry out of equilibrium. Over time this will change and revert back to a state of normalcy. Unless you really fried yourself good. For love, lust, addiction is the natural state.

And it keeps me up at night. Every time I go to bed, I start wishing I didn't have to go to bed alone EVERY single night of my life. But then I think.. Why? What's wrong with that?

...And it doesn't help.

But when it hit me, it seemed really profound. I guess it was just at the moment when I really saw the light. WHY do I feel this way?

[vashti]

Why do you feel this way? Biology, I think.

Don't worry about the liking girls even though you've never had one... Once you have, you probably won't like 'em quite so much.

How old are you again?

[Tone]

...Or you'll like them even more.

[Gigabitch]

Sounds like somebody is already ready to declare psychology as his major.

[Junket]

You use reasoning and logic to dull the emotional pain of the human disconnect.

I did it too.

[DoesntMatter]

You use reasoning and logic to dull the emotional pain of the human disconnect.

I did it too.

It doesn't work for me though

Haha no Giga, I'm definitely a biochem major true and through, cause the college has me set up with the most kick-ass math and chemistry classes I could have ever asked for. Psychology is waaay too wishy-washy for my tastes, and not anywhere near as interesting

[Gigabitch]

Neuropsychopharmacology, then.

[DoesntMatter]

Neuropsychopharmacology, then.

Lol hell yes!!!

Actually with a biochem major, they have me taking a ton of chemistry and math classes, but they all lead to something. I'm so excited for when the good stuff starts. Basically intro chem, organic chem, analytical chem, transition metal chem, advanced organic chem! And math they have us take first year calc, multivariable calc and linear algebra, then quantum mechanics so I can talk about orbitals with the chemmies! I'm pumped. But that is just undergrad. It will lead up to being able to study neurochemistry in depth if I want to in grad school

But grad will be either med school, biochem, or organic chem

[Gigabitch]

Wow. You're going to be able to afford the very best whores.

[DoesntMatter]

Wow. You're going to be able to afford the very best whores.

Basically at Cornell they teach me everything except how to get laid